My Marriage;Their Wedding : African Mothers Palava

By Modupe Akinyemi

Every time I think about the drama mothers attach to weddings, I wonder if it is theirs or their children’s. Finally, they are selling aso Ebi and giving out invitations not just the ones on the receiving end, I laugh in Chinese.

Being a very private person, I have always fantasized about having a wedding with very few guests but highly classy; I mean small doesn’t mean substandard. However, as the first child and first daughter in the family, I don’t think that will be happening at all. My mother has on several occasions told me it is my marriage but her wedding, so I should face wetin concern me.

I believe it is my day therefore I should be given the liberty to make the greatest choices concerning the day; the guests, planners, program and most importantly the cost if I would be catering for it. I have never been the type who believes in just gathering ‘everybody’. I want to have close families and friends at my event. People, who I believe have played significant roles and have been available for my family when we needed them and not just some uncle in the village who doesn’t even know I exist bringing one very long and expensive list in the name of family rites.

At the same time, it is their day. It is a day of joy for my parents. They are the ones giving away their child. They brought the child to life, trained the child and now are celebrating the child as she starts her own family. It is something to make a lot of noise about I’d say.

However, considering how much is spent on planning and executing a one to three-day event, I cringe when I see how far people go just to satisfy others. If you have the money and you want a glamorous wedding, please go ahead but when you have to take loans and credits just to satisfy what people regard as standard, I wash my hands off as Oga Pilate did.

As children bringing joy to our parents, we need to remember we are starting a new journey after the wedding day, therefore, we should plan with the after in view. If an elaborate wedding is what you want and cannot afford nor get a sponsor, pleases calmly work harder, save meticulously and wait till you can afford it and if you cannot wait, elaborate it in your own little way and if you would borrow (which I still do not advice), do it minimally.

However, if you are a lover of micro-weddings, please go for it and not get yourself or your partner pressured into what you do not want. Remember, small is not substandard.

For me, I will reach a compromise with my large-wedding loving mother. She owns the engagement and wedding ceremony while I own the after-party and I may even decide not to invite her. Lol… That way, we all can really do should face wetin concern us.

Source: Above Whispers

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