The Manipulators

By Onozasi

When my friend asked me if I could work under intense pressure, I said yes but was wondering how intense this pressure could be. I sent my application and I was selected. It was later I discovered that this company disguises to be a regular company but it is the Church office of the place my friend worships. They don’t allow church members because there are lots of things to hide and this will make some members see the man of God as human or a demon if you like to call it that way.  “You are going to be working in the Strategy department and you have to be vast in thinking and sometimes go do undercover in some churches, let us know what they know and what they are ignorant of so we can be ahead of them”. They said. Okay! I am paid handsomely well anyway, so, I felt it isn’t a big deal  but the competition is fierce. We churn out content everyday and make the face of the church cool to those within and outside the church.


One day, our CEO {The lead pastor} traveled abroad and came back with a vision God gave him.  “My father in heaven has given me , his favorite son another project to do. We were eagerly waiting to hear this assignment when he said, He said, we should build him a 3000 space filled auditorium.” What? With the current balance of the church account? How is that even possible? Then he went on to say  ” He has even given us the way to go about it and this depends on the strategy department. You will have to churn out content that will compel the hearts of every member of this church to give their money so we can execute this project and also, we have to pitch this to our regular investors. They need to be a part of this and I heard, one of our rivals built theirs and people are saying it’s the best thing that ever happened, we are about to change that game. God bless you all” and our leader left. Hey! Don’t look confused, according to him, God told him to do that. We started churning out content day and night that could be approved  by the committee so it would fly in the hearts of the members but nothing was approved.

Then, pastor told us to come worship in church one Sunday, maybe, we will be inspired to get the right content. Oh! The way that man preached, if you haven’t been working under this same man, you will take him as genuine. I was speechless! Perfect acting skills on the loose and I was wondering how God will go about his business on that day.  As he was preaching, he stopped abruptly and said, the spirit of God has something to say to his people. We all rose and lifted our hands to hear this and dang! Pastor said, God wants builders of his sanctuary to come out because the heavens are weeping over this current sanctuary! Oh the guilt I felt! People ran out, giving pledges, crying and rolling on the floor that the Lord is angry with them. After the end of the service, we made up to 10 million naira but it’s no way close to the budget.

Did you see what happened back there? That is content! You have to appeal to these guys and I have been doing this for more than 20 years and guess what? God will still bless them for spending anyway, so, we aren’t stealing from them. I laughed as he spoke and as we dispersed after the meeting, I was thinking about a whole lot of things. What kind of world is this and how  have we reduced the Church to a Marketing Service and Self Satisfying venture? I don’t know but we have a target to build this before December or else, we are going to lose our Jobs! I don’t know if I want to quit or go about doing this and continue living in unhappiness!


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