An Open Letter To 30-Something Moms

  • This stage of life can feel as if we’re leaving behind many of the gains we made for ourselves in our 20s. Being a mom now means many of us have young children, maybe one or two in the early years of school and a preschooler and an infant or toddler. They are at the ages where they are quite dependent on us, though they’re testing out small ways to be “independent.”

    Mums and Babies
    Mums and Babies
  • With these young ones, it’s easy to feel marooned on a deserted island at home, where the walls of our houses might as well be the shores of the ocean, cutting us off from civilization on the far-off mainland. Leaving the house for what were previously simple trips, to the grocery store, to Walmart or Target, is at once a treat (to see different sights and actual adult people) and a trial.
  • Getting two or three small people dressed (with shoes), pottied or changed and fed, as well as trying to catch them in good moods (after naptimes) is a challenge. And then once we’re out, all that preparation was a waste of time and energy because somehow, they still absolutely have to go to the bathroom, eat a snack, grab things off shelves (or at the very least touch every single one of them) and even, just for fun, throw a satisfying, attention-grabbing fit. We can feel like ringmasters encircled by a few circus acts, and everyone is watching as we make our way through a store.
  • If we are stay-at-home moms, we’re likely not getting to do much in the way of the paid work we were trained to do and enjoyed. It’s easy to feel we’re missing out on prime years to stretch our career wings and really get traction in jobs. At the same time, our fellow moms who are working can easily feel left out of things on the homefront: missing out on some of their children’s milestones and activities, perhaps misunderstood or even judged by some of us stay-at-home moms.
  • Earlier generations of moms didn’t have social media to exacerbate any negative feelings that come from comparing. But now, Facebook, Instagram or Pinterest just taunt us about how much we’re not doing (or not doing right), while our friends all seem to be nailing it.

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