Anyone who has seen the Peak Milk advert in Nigeria will agree with me that Mama O yo yo  is  a beautiful song for mothers. Hearing that song however got me thinking and it brought to mind some of the questions I have always asked myself- how many times in the year is Mother’s Day? How many times in the year is Father’s Day? With  the many songs we have to celebrate mothers, how many do we have for fathers?

Have you ever asked a girl or boy, who bought this article for you and what you hear is my Mummy? What of those moments when you hear children telling themselves I like my Mummy more than my Daddy. Ok wait a minute have you ever received a note from a teenager telling you that ‘’my daddy is wicked’’?

Have you ever given your mother money without the knowledge of your father yet you still ask your father to give your mother from the money you gave to him claiming you haven’t given your mother anything whereas when you called her into the room ‘’money exchanged hands’’? If you can relate to this line, then the ‘’gods’’ surely know your house number!

I think fathers, men and boys living in today’s world now need to interrogate some of these questions objectively without sentiments. I think it sends some signals on how best we can address the gender injustice that exists in the world today.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying mothers should not be celebrated, neither am I saying fathers should be celebrated more than mothers. What I am driving at is the need for us as fathers, men and boys to pay attention to those things that makes a mother golden and see how we can emulate these not in a competitive manner but in a complimentary way.

Don’t get it wrong, this article is not for fathers already playing the role of mothers, neither is it generalizing as we have some fathers whose children like more than their mothers. Sadly there are only a few of those men.

So what makes a mother golden, something tells me it is relative as what makes your mother golden might not necessarily be what makes mine golden but what I do know is that our children know who goes to the market, cooks, does the laundry, prepares them for school, picks them up at school, supervises their home work, takes them shopping and to have nice times – they have lost count of how many times their mother did this but for us as fathers they can count and tell us dates without blinking.

Yes they know their father has a well-paid job and you pay their school fees, so money isn’t the issue but who gets to give them more time?, who gets to think of the children more when it comes to keeping the family together?, who prays more?, who is more afraid of infidelity?, who watches over the children more?, who is more at home with the kids?, who tolerates them more?, and who sacrifices more for them? Certainly there are many interrogating questions to ask.

If as men and fathers we still think children love their mothers more because they carried them for nine months and breastfed them, then we are kidding. Reality has shown it is more than that. If not for anything ask yourself, between my dad and my mom whom do I like more and why?

I had better stop here before I am accused of ‘’haven eaten my mother’s intestine’’ or ‘’that I have eaten vegetable’ or that I am riding on a female horse’’.  Whistling Mama O yo yo……

Oyebisi Babatunde Oluseyi is the Executive Director of the Nigeria Network of NGOs (NNNGO) and for many years been an internationally respected authority on the growth of civil society. He has over 10 years of experience as a senior policy analyst and strategist on addressing diverse development challenges of the African policy landscape.  He serves and has served on the Board of many companies and civil society organisations including Society for Family and Social Protection in Nigeria.