I watched a video recently
There is this Auntie
I do not know her name
So, I will call her Kolostica
She has a husband – she is not a widow
She has children – she is not on praying mountains begging God
She has a house to live in – she is not homeless
She has a nice big bed to sleep on – she is not living in poverty
She had a wig on her head – she could afford one
She has an ample body – she is not starving
Kolostica wanted something badly
She wanted a new wig
A rather expensive one
She asked her husband to buy it for her
Husband said No
Kolostica would not take No for an answer
So, she threw a tantrum
Hence the video recording
She shouted, raved, huffed and puffed
Husband was not moved
Kolostica then switched gears
The raving, huffing and puffing was not getting her displeasure across
She fetched a bucket of water
And poured it all over the nice big bed
‘Why Mummy’? Her alarmed children asked
‘No one will sleep tonight if I don’t get what I want’ was the answer
The online in-laws unanimously declared Kolostica crazy
‘These are not the actions of a normal person, because of a wig?’
I have news
There are so many ‘Kolosticas’ out there
Those who are busy pouring water on their own beds
Every time you live beyond your means so you can keep up with others
Every time you use your business profits to buy depreciating assets instead of reinvesting
Every time you choose not to leave an abusive relationship because of what people will say
Every time you insult people you do not know online or offline
Every time you refuse to be your brother’s keeper or your sister’s protector
Every time you choose to serve yourself instead of the people who voted for you
Every time you open your mouth wide without negotiating with your brain first
Every time you use religion to manipulate and oppress
Every time you use ethnicity to divide and confuse
Every time you refuse to be content with what you have been blessed with
Every time you do not understand what you need to value and what you can do without
You are pouring water on your bed
It is easy to watch and enjoy the video of ‘Kolostica’ in action
But ask yourself,
Are you any different if you do or say things that are irrational, idiotic, inexcusable or just plain crazy?
Are you different if your children can see you doing things you would never expect them to do?
Thank you for recording the entertainment, Mr Kolostica
It will make many husbands say ‘Thank God I don’t have one like that’
It will make many wives say ‘God forbid, I will never do that’
It would be great if we could all reduce the levels of ‘Kolo’ in our lives
Women, work hard and buy your own stuff so you don’t have to go crazy when someone’s son says No
Men, keep making fun of Kolostica, but you all know the many ways you pour water on your own beds
Here I am sipping tea
Till the next round of Kolostic entertainment.
Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Social Entrepreneur and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com
4 Responses
Aunty kolostical wanted moreee
Very funny but true
Kolosticals are more than we think. Na only person wey dem video we see
I will not be kolostical in my life
True. Make we no do pass ourselves.
Kolo Kolostical
It is well