I watched a video recently

There is this Auntie

I do not know her name

So, I will call her Kolostica

She has a husband – she is not a widow

She has children – she is not on praying mountains begging God

She has a house to live in – she is not homeless

She has a nice big bed to sleep on – she is not living in poverty

She had a wig on her head – she could afford one

She has an ample body – she is not starving

Kolostica wanted something badly

She wanted a new wig

A rather expensive one

She asked her husband to buy it for her

Husband said No

Kolostica would not take No for an answer

So, she threw a tantrum

Hence the video recording

She shouted, raved, huffed and puffed

Husband was not moved

Kolostica then switched gears

The raving, huffing and puffing was not getting her displeasure across

She fetched a bucket of water

And poured it all over the nice big bed

Why Mummy’? Her alarmed children asked

No one will sleep tonight if I don’t get what I want’ was the answer

The online in-laws unanimously declared Kolostica crazy

These are not the actions of a normal person, because of a wig?’

I have news

There are so many ‘Kolosticas’ out there

Those who are busy pouring water on their own beds

Every time you live beyond your means so you can keep up with others

Every time you use your business profits to buy depreciating assets instead of reinvesting

Every time you choose not to leave an abusive relationship because of what people will say

Every time you insult people you do not know online or offline

Every time you refuse to be your brother’s keeper or your sister’s protector

Every time you choose to serve yourself instead of the people who voted for you

Every time you open your mouth wide without negotiating with your brain first

Every time you use religion to manipulate and oppress

Every time you use ethnicity to divide and confuse

Every time you refuse to be content with what you have been blessed with

Every time you do not understand what you need to value and what you can do without

You are pouring water on your bed

It is easy to watch and enjoy the video of ‘Kolostica’ in action

But ask yourself,

Are you any different if you do or say things that are irrational, idiotic, inexcusable or just plain crazy?

Are you different if your children can see you doing things you would never expect them to do?

Thank you for recording the entertainment, Mr Kolostica

It will make many husbands say ‘Thank God I don’t have one like that’

It will make many wives say ‘God forbid, I will never do that’

It would be great if we could all reduce the levels of ‘Kolo’ in our lives

Women, work hard and buy your own stuff so you don’t have to go crazy when someone’s son says No

Men, keep making fun of Kolostica, but you all know the many ways you pour water on your own beds

Here I am sipping tea

Till the next round of Kolostic entertainment.

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Social Entrepreneur and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com

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4 Responses to LOUD WHISPERS: Kolostica

  1. Iyanuoluwa Isinkaye October 22, 2023 at 7:23 am

    Aunty kolostical wanted moreee

  2. Adegbola Opeyemi October 22, 2023 at 7:38 am

    Very funny but true
    Kolosticals are more than we think. Na only person wey dem video we see
    I will not be kolostical in my life

  3. Ibukunoluwa October 22, 2023 at 2:02 pm

    True. Make we no do pass ourselves.

  4. Maryam October 24, 2023 at 6:56 am

    Kolo Kolostical
    It is well


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