In memory of Dolly Parton

                                                                              

‘My coat of many colours that my momma made for me

Made only from rags

But I wore it so proudly

Although we had no money

I was rich as I could be

In my coat of many colours

My momma made for me’

For the young man who declared with his full chest online

‘I know 95% of Nigerians do not know who Dolly Parton was’

Keep quiet

Sit down

Hear me clearly when I say this

You are one of the 5% who did not know who Dolly Parton was

The Baby Boomers, Gen Xs and Millennials all knew her

Many Gen Zs knew her through their parents and grandparents

Welcome back from the rock you have been living under

Even if you have never heard of Dolly Parton

You have heard about

Poverty

Talent

Opportunity

Grace

Dolly was born to loving, doting parents

Fourth child in a family of twelve

She was blessed with immense talent

Her voice made angels pay attention

She seized opportunities

She received grace

From wearing a coat of rags lovingly patched together by her mother

She became the Queen of Country music

 The owner of more coats than many people see in their lifetime

Why?

She had loving, doting parents

Sadly, they were poor

Remember, she was the fourth child in a family of twelve

She knew what it meant to not have enough

The importance of sharing

The meaning of responsibility

What lack of opportunity could cause

Her father never went to school

He could not read or write

‘So with patches on my britches

And holes in both my shoes

In my coat of many colours

I hurried off to school

Just to find the others laughing

And making fun of me

In my coat of many colours

My momma made for me’

The poor, little girl, who showed up in school in a coat sewn together with rags

And was laughed at by her classmates

Became the woman who made it possible for thousands of children to go to school

Stay in school

Read better

Write better

Become somebody

Years went by

The little girl who grew up in the impoverished backwaters of rural Tennessee

Became a global icon                                         

A true megastar

Not the ‘manufactured in Hollywood’ kind

With a made-up backstory of rags to riches

pushed by publicists and public relations teams

This was a real story

Of someone who turned every obstacle into a pathway

Every adversary into a footnote

Every breakthrough into something more

At a time when women were not considered worth more than their looks and bodies

She turned her looks and body into a brand

When it was customary to underestimate a small, blonde country star in flashy clothes

She turned it around and behold, a savvy entrepreneur was right there

Singer

Songwriter

Actress

Producer

Advocate

Philanthropist

Mentor

Wife, mother, sister, auntie, friend

Most of what she touched turned to gold

A true reflection of her heart

One woman

One lifetime

For those who know the song ‘I will always love you’ by Whitney Houston

Many do not know it was written by Dolly Parton

Every time the song made money

Dolly’s bank account felt it

Guess what she did with the windfall?

She bought a strip mall and office complex in a black neighbourhood in Nashville

She used it to give back and support the black community

She called it ‘The House that Whitney Built’

No foolish drama

No theatrics

No long stories about ‘how that song was mine to begin with’

There was none of that

Dolly was political without being a politician

She simply put her money where her heart was

She knew how to use her voice

Through silence on matters that everyone had an opinion on

And direct action when and where it mattered

Through free tuition and healthcare investments for her Dollywood staff

The Imagination Library that provided free books for children far and near

Funding for a COVID19 vaccine

HIV/AIDs awareness

Rebuilding a community after a devastating fire

Just love, kindness and joy

Underneath all the make-up, wigs and sequined outfits

In the age of performative charity and obsession with validation

In these times of unnecessary competition amongst mediocres and wannabees

There was a woman on a mission

Giving

Supporting

Encouraging

Building

Loving

Nurturing

Empathising

‘But they didn’t understand it

And I tried to make them see

That one is only poor

Only if they choose to be

Now I know we had no money

But I was rich as I could be

In my coat of many colours

My momma made for me’

The coat of many colours has always been my favourite song of hers

It is a story about never forgetting

About sacrifice

About contentment

About the true meaning of riches

It has little to do with the size of your wallet

It is more about the love in your heart

You can have all the money in the world

And still be poor

If you have love in your heart

If you share it with others

You will never be truly poor

The owner of the coat of many colours lived a long, fulfilled life

Eight decades

As she laid her head down for her much-deserved rest

There must have been much satisfaction in knowing

That a life wearing a patchwork of love, kindness, solidarity and connection

Is a life worth living

When the owner of the coat of many colours showed up at the pearly gates

I know she was received by a huge welcoming party

People she loved, knew, worked with or total strangers

Her beloved husband Carl, Momma, Papa, her siblings and other family members, would have been there

There would have been an all-star party all night long to celebrate her homecoming

Kenny Rogers, Whitney Houston, David Allan-Coe, Michael Jackson, Prince,

Aretha Franklin, Bob Marley, Amy Winehouse, Bonnie Tyler, Ozzy Osbourne, Roberta Flack.

Even Tupac Shakur and Notorious BIG would have shown up, sister Dolly loved to rap too

They would all have been there

Where does this leave the rest of us still here?

We should think about what our own coats of many colours should look like

And what to do with it when we have one

I want my coat to be one that is pieced together

with kindness, peace, thoughtfulness, generosity, wisdom

I will use it to cover others

I will teach them how to make one for themselves

And how to pass it on to someone who needs one

Goodbye the incomparable Dolly Parton

What a life!

What a legacy!

The owner of the coat of many colours

We will always love you.

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Leadership Coach, Policy Advocate and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com