Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi

Did the girl lie?
Did she make it up?
Did she fantasize?
Did she hallucinate?
Did she have a target in mind to pin it on?
Maybe she is lying
Perhaps she told the truth
If she lied, that is terrible

Real victims get to be victims all over again
If she told the truth
Real victims still continue to be victims
And we wonder why there is so much anger
We wonder why there is so much rage
Over how our bodies continue to be the devil’s playground
We are raped as babies – we cannot identify anyone
We are raped as toddlers- we innocently sat on the laps of a friendly Uncle
We are raped on the way to school – by the Okada rider
We are raped at school – by the gateman, seniors, classmates and teachers
We are raped, groped and threatened when we are a bit older – by our lecturers
We are raped when we go to pray – by our ‘men of God’
We are raped when we go for our National Youth Service – it could be anywhere or anyone
We are raped when we stay home
We are raped when we go out

We are raped when we are single
We are raped when we are married
We are raped when we wear diapers
We are raped when we wear jeans
We are raped when we wear Hijabs
We are raped when we are old and frail on our farms
And we wonder why there is so much anger
If she lied
That is unacceptable
If she told the truth
We are not surprised
In the hours it took for us to understand this convoluted tale
Real victims were trapped under the bodies of predators
Real victims who will be silenced forever
By shame, stigma, threats
Real victims who will not be believed
Real victims who will be told over and over ‘where is the evidence’?
Sorry, I forgot to insert a camera into my vagina
I will remember next time
For real victims
There is always a ‘next time’
The assault might happen once
Revictimisation happens again and again
In their families
At the police station
In the law courts

In courts of public opinion
And you wonder why?
Why will women not be angry?
It does not make them ‘men-haters’
It makes them hate what men do
Men have power
Men have control
Men have penises
Guess how all these are used
And we wonder why?
If you are a woman, keep being angry
Keep using your voice
Keep breaking the silence
Your anger might save another victim from a next time
If you are a man
And you have a mother, sister, wife, daughter
You can use your power
Your privilege
Your voice
To make sure there is no next time
If she lied
It is truly bad
Yet, we miss the point
Lie or truth
The victims continue to pile up
In our homes

Schools
Workplaces
Places of worship
Where we play
Where we dance
Where we study
And we wonder why
Let us not miss the real story
We are angry
We are incandescent with rage
Do not tell us that this will make other victims silent
When they come forward, do we listen?
Do we hear them?
What happens?
If the girl lied, let her be sanctioned
To serve as a deterrent to others
What if she did not lie?
Then it is business as usual
Victims get to be victims all over again
Till the next time
And we wonder why

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Leadership Coach, Policy Advocate and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com