Think about being home on a Saturday afternoon.

Saturday is when you allow yourself an indulgence of pounded yam and Egusi soup

Then it starts to rain

Loud, rumbling, angry, quarrelsome rain

You finish your hot pounded yam, with Egusi, snails, oxtail and a chunky chicken wing

You try and waddle around so the food can digest a bit

Then you snuggle into bed, nice and warm, 

Tucked in to read a book on your iPAD before you take a nap

As the loud, rumbling, angry, quarrelsome rain pounds away

Then there is a deafening noise and the sound of something breaking apart

You blink

There is water dripping on you

You are not tucked into bed reading your book, after the delicious pounded yam and Egusi

No, you are not home

You are at a party

Wishing you were home with your pounded yam

This is the second table you have been moved to

The quarrelsome rain drove you away from the first

And now it is threatening to send you forth from the second

You tell your worried hosts not to worry – the water is a mere trickle

‘I am not salt, I will not dissolve’, you assure them

So, you shift away from the rude raindrops and try to enjoy the party

While wishing you were tucked away, nice, warm and sleepy

Listening to the loud, rumbling rain

You eventually leave the party, and head for home

The rain has been noisy, persistent and annoying

Yet you think nothing of it

Soon, you will be home

Even though there will be no pounded yam this Saturday

 You are just coming from a party

At least there will be snuggling under the covers

While the noisy, annoying, quarrelsome rain pounds away

Then, you get home

And you notice the presence of a crowd

What happened?

You look around, then look up

Something is not right

There is a persistent cry of ‘Thank God, Thank God’

You are confused

Trying to figure out what is wrong

And why God needs to be thanked

You look up again, then you see it

A huge radio mast has crashed into the top floor of your home

You stare at the sight, it still doesn’t register

So, you go up the stairs

Those thanking God on your behalf ahead of you and behind you

You walk through the door of your bedroom

The place where you would have snuggled under the covers

After the pounded yam, Egusi, snails, oxtail and chunky chicken wing

You stare at your bed

Or where the bed is supposed to be

And there it is

Half of a mighty mast, alongside poles, rods, wires and goodness knows what

Right there in the middle of your bedroom

Some of the wires are sparking

You look up again

The bloody thing had crashed through the ceiling

Which means now, part of your bedroom has no ceiling

‘What the h….., what the f……..’ 

All the curse words run through your mind, but you don’t say them 

Instead, you keep saying ‘Thank God’ out loud

The loud, rumbling, angry, quarrelsome rain has stopped

In the few hours that its reign of terror was in full force

Scores of homes and businesses were mercilessly dismantled 

Causing despair and tears for so many in the land of the rolling hills

The Land of Honour

As you stand in the middle of your battered bedroom

The same room you slept in the night before

The place you would have slept tonight

You think about the daydreams you had earlier

While you were dodging the rude raindrops at the party

Wishing you were back home with your Saturday pounded yam and snails

Followed by your snuggle in a warm bed with your book

If you had been in bed

During the day or at night

The massive mast, poles and sparking wires would have landed on you

What if Jagunmolu had been home?

It might have landed on him too

If we were lucky and the mast missed the bed

The noise and shock alone would have been enough to dispatch either or both of us

At that point

You say, ‘Thank God’ with heartfelt reverence

It was a narrow escape

It would have been a tragedy

I will never think of my Saturday pounded yam and snails the same way

Thank God. Thank God Thank God

‘The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon at night’.

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Policy Advocate and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com