This is 2024

New year, new roads, new lanes

New times, new language

The young people have declared 2024 as the year of ‘I no go gree’

For those who need a decoding

It means the year of ‘I will not agree’

I am not sure what this will mean exactly, but I will hazard a guess

It means

 I will not agree to be cheated

I will not agree to be insulted

I will not agree to be silenced

I will not agree that I do not deserve a good life

I will not agree that I have to pretend to be nice

I will not agree that I have to be rude because other people around me have no manners

I will not agree to be jealous of others

I will not agree to be fake when I should be real

I will not agree to cry when I need to laugh

I will not agree to laugh when I need to be sober

This year, this 2024

I will not agree that there will be no Vawulence – aka Violence

So, the young man who recently asked his girlfriend to visit his family house

and cook for 70 of his relatives

Only to complain that the soup was ‘too salty’

You are not husband material so you do not qualify to look for wife material

The Akwa Ibom Auntie who we were all feeling sorry for

the one whose husband beat her and chased her into the streets

the one who the good neighbours gave a wrapper to

the one who has now written a long letter to tell all of us busybodies to mind our business

Pele o, Auntie Ruth, apologies for interfering in your matter.

However, we no go gree

If he beats you again, we will still show up to help you

It is not about you

It is about all those out there who need help

Those who suffer loudly and in silence

In any case, we cannot agree to leave you alone

The day (God forbid) that your corpse is wheeled out of your Master’s house

It is we the same busy body neighbours that the police will come looking for

This year 2024, we no go gree

We no go gree to plenty plenty distractions

Auntie, please hold on to your community service husband

Or leave him

Stop disturbing us with your lamentations

Uncle, you are busy using your pestle to pound yam in another man’s mortar

Here you are crying non-stop that another pestle is pounding your own yam

What did you expect?

Please, you know the way to the nearest DNA clinic

 Stop disturbing us with your Wahala

We no go gree in this year 2024

This year, we are focused

On our studies, our businesses, our work, our goals, our dreams

We want to turn ignorance to knowledge, idleness to occupation, poverty to wealth

If you like

Keep showing us your billion Naira shoe, perfume, wig, wristwatch and bag collections

As well as your fake front and back

I no go gree for it to concern me

If you like

Put another two dozen young people in a place for them to do nothing

 but eat, drink, Kerewa, and walk around half naked for three months

Then reward them with millions and cars

While the best graduating student at UNILAG or OAU gets a cheap laptop and N50,000

They have started again, the ‘visions’ and ‘predictions’ for 2024

This year there will be death, there will be promotions, sacking,

Winning, losing, rejoicing, mourning

There is no need for any prophecy about all this

These things will come to pass

Please do not agree to become a victim

A word is enough for the wise

Young people who are planning to get married in 2024

Please do your homework

Before you bring we your parents out with our Ewedu Green Head tie or Jollof-Red Aso-Ebi

Make sure you are marrying for the right reasons

We will not agree to foolishness this year

The groom who thinks the most important thing about his bride is her virginity

The bride who is rubbing her hands at the thought of a luxury lifestyle

Your case is what the Yoruba people call ‘the person about to die meets the person who will kill them’.

This new year 2024

Ogas and Madams in Abuja, we have given you time to settle down

We will not complain that the rice you sent to us for Christmas did not reach us

We are not concerned that some of you spent the holidays in London and Los Angeles

We will pretend not to notice that the money in the budget you passed was more than what was asked for

We will not talk about the rumours that when you were sharing money and buying cars

there was no APC, PDP, Labour or NNPP

We admire your multi-party spirit

In this year 2024

We no go gree for you to ignore our pleas

You all need to do better

To our talented superstars on the local and world stage

Our singers, actors, actresses, movie directors,

Keep shining like the brightest of stars

Please, no gree for them in 2024

Stay focused on your wonderful talents

Stay clean, be sober, keep your zips up and your knees together

No gree for scandals or dirty business

Be unavailable for nonsense and serve the undeserving breakfast

This is the year 2024

We no go gree.

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Policy Advocate and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com