Meeting new people and starting new relationships can sometimes be challenging which sometimes can be awkward if both parties do not share the same ideals. One of the ways through which new relations are formed is through marriage and the Nigerian society takes the in-law relationship seriously due to the communal nature of our society. Through marriage new alliances are formed as well as life long commitment.
Building relationships can take time and may be exhausting sometimes which can be attributed to various factors one of which is the circumstance through which such relationship is formed. Let’s take for example the case of the man’s family not being in support of their son’s relationship with his fiancée, which may have led to an exchange of words between extended families of both parties can create awkwardness between the suitor and his in-laws especially when they have not had personal encounters in the past which can attest to his good nature.
The closeness between siblings may feel threatened especially among female siblings when either one of them finds a life partner, it is no news that some siblings sometimes feel like their relationship is under attack because her sister is about to start a new life with someone else, which brings up mixed emotions. The brother in-law sister-in-law relationship is oftentimes not talked about as much as the mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship which is notorious for being toxic in some cases.
Understandably, individual approach to bonding with new people differs, while some are quick to bond others may be apprehensive which can be attributed to reasons such as being cautious not to come off as loud, monitoring the other person’s behaviour or just being shy. These situations can create awkwardness as well; which may morph into other situations if not addressed appropriately. All parties involved have a role to play when it comes to building strong ties among extended family members.
Useful Tips towards reducing Awkwardness in brother in-law sister-in-law relationship
Have an open and honest conversation: Having conversations with your soon to be brother in-law is a great way to clear the air if both parties have had issues in the past which may have created a rift. Perhaps you have had issues with him prior to your sister introduced him and you feel that your relationship with him is salvageable .
Be Polite and welcoming: There’s no better to get to know a future member of the family than getting to know them, their likes, dislikes and their values, while bearing in mind that you may not share the same belief system but both parties can tolerate and relate with one another based on mutual respect and shared humanity. Being open-minded will also help you discover the qualities that your sister found in him even without being told. Learn about each other’s culture and beliefs, it will also help you to better understand one another and also helps you deal with situations in the future easily.
Find out what he likes to do for fun: Bonding is important between intending in-laws, therefore fun activities such as going out for drinks, watching movies, hanging out at the park, watching his or your favourite sports together among other activities are useful ways through which you can connect, these are great ways to show that you have a dun side as well.
The narrative of the suitor being the one who tries to win everyone over seems to be the norm, however Communication is a two-way street, hence the effort towards bonding should not only come from the brother-in-law. He may not be the socially awkward and shy type while you are the more outgoing type who knows how to communicate properly, therefore there’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting to know who your sister is about to spend her lifetime with, rather than spend years being awkward with each other.
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