AW Gist : Call It What It Is

By Onozasie

Just before you begin: This is a discussion between three social agents, three women involved in different social innovations who’ve been brought together to discuss the different issues they’ve solved, the different stories they’ve heard and how we all can become good influencers, good change agents. I hope this stirs a thing up as you read.

                             Meet the Change Agents:

My name is Jadesola Olumide, I Work with women in rural and urban Nigeria. My organization teaches them to work with their hands to make money, well that’s what some people call skills acquisition. I have worked with over 5,000 women and I am still working daily with women and girls.

I am Tomi Nelson, I am an advocate against rape and sexual assault in society. I was working in the UK before coming to stay in Nigeria, and I must say I have seen much more than I expected to see. It’s no news that we have a lot to do but it is news that we need hands to make this happen.

My name is Lilian Ukachi. I am a media personality, social media influencer and trainer. I work with women and girls on a daily basis, I listen to them, motivate them to thirst for more and go beyond their boundaries. We have a lot of women and girls out there whose zest for life has been destroyed. It is imperative that we join hands to make their dreams come true.

Moderator: Hello Ladies

Ladies: Madam Moderator, how are you?

Moderator: I am doing okay and keeping safe. Thank you for attending this zoom meeting, this is our new normal.

Ladies : (laughs) you can say that again.


Moderator: Today, we are discussing SEX EDUCATION AMONGST KIDS.  Sometimes, what allows sexual abuse is the fact that parents have hidden vital information from their kids. I heard parents say, ‘errrm, I cannot call penis what it is to my child so I say, your ant, your something. I cannot spell out vagina to my kids because I don’t want her to be polluted’ and that’s what these perpetrators use against kids. I believe that parents need to spell it out the way it is… what do you think ladies?

Lilian Ukachi: I am a media practitioner and I understand this wholeheartedly. The truth is, a lot of us in this society are hypocrites. We try not to say somethings because we do not want to be judged but the truth is, we know our heart speaks differently. If what your lips say is different from your heart then you are a hypocrite. Why should calling our private body parts be a big deal for us in this society? why? Aren’t they parts of the body? What is ‘kokoro, what is your something? if you can call our your head, your hand, your legs, then your private parts shouldn’t be a big deal and as funny as the world has become now, we must not take chances with these things. I have always told my kids, no one must access your vagina. I have two girls and I am not taking chances. I told them point-blank, this is your breasts and this is your vagina and no man must touch these areas and you must not touch them in other people’s body. Not even your father, your uncles, aunties. Don’t sit on a man’s laps. I remember when I told someone (a parent) that I instructed my daughters on this issue and how I also spelt it out that they should never sit on anyone’s laps not even their father or uncles and she said that’s too far. I didn’t even respond to her.  I am protecting my kids, I am fighting against stories that touch and whichever way others handle theirs is their problem but I am not taking chances with my children oooo. I still don’t get why parents don’t want to go all out. Do they not see the real issues? If you don’t go aggressive with your kids, predators will take advantage of them.

Tomi Nelson: I am actually tired of a lot of us women doing as if we don’t know how serious abuse has become in our society? What is stopping you from calling it the way it is? what are you afraid of? you should be concerned about keeping your kids off predators than whatever it is that you are lying to yourself about. Even in schools, right from primary schools, let’s spell it out to our kids. We’ve seen and heard stories of kids being raped. In fact, we’ve heard stories of babies being raped so what are we talking about here. When your kids get back from school, ask the questions. Allow a good rapport between you and your kids. Allow your kids to love you and confide in you. Ask them, did anyone touch your butts, did anyone touch your breasts… ask them! What kind of play are you playing in school? This will help you detect abuse easily and will also help your kids confide in you to inform you when something goes wrong. In this day and age,  sex education must be taken seriously and private parts should not be covered up. Spell it out to your kids and tell them what is right from wrong and once you discover any foul play, take action. Do something. Listen your kids. That’s the way forward. The future of your kids should matter to you. Women have been abused from the stage of being girls. Some were taken advantage of because their parents didn’t do something, for some, their parents didn’t even educate them at all so they didn’t know any better. It is high time we took our kids seriously and protect them against predators.

Jadesola Olumide:  In fact, now is the best time to talk about this. Now that kids are home, parents should teach them the right things and give them a safe environment to live in. I read a study some time ago that a lot of kids are depressed cos school was their safe haven. I want to use this medium to beg parents to live amicably for the sake of their kids. Let these kids live. Let these kids be. When kids live in an unhealthy environment predators are quick to latch on them. Allow your kids to be okay around you, let them feel secure with you.  Tell them what it is, don’t hide it. Let them know and teach them now!!! If you haven’t been doing so, now is the time to do so.  Start now.

Moderator: We hope that parents listen and take action because the stats are up.

Lilian Ukachi: Let me say this, as a parent, if your kids find you too difficult to talk to, you have failed as one. We really need to stop romancing people’s heads. Let us tell it the way it is. Some kids will tell you, I cannot talk to my parents because they won’t listen to me. If you are that kind of parent, you have failed.

Jadesola Olumide: I agree.If you mist fight against sexual abuse, parents must be held accountable too.

Tomi Nelson: Hello! we said Parents, not mothers alone! I hope you got that right but if you are a single parent, then you know what to do.

Moderator: Thank you, Ladies…

Ladies: Always a pleasure.


Source: Above Whispers

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