What Two Girls Taught Me About Love and Hatred

I love children, anyone close to me enough knows I do, and I respect them a lot. In fact, my plan is to have 1000 children when God’s kingdom comes—what will I be using my energies for then, when everything will be perfect! However, 2 girls ages 6 and 4 as at 2019 (I hope I am correct) have taught me an important lesson about love and hatred. They are both my friend’s daughters and we attend the same “church”. SO, I get to see them every Thursday and Sunday. Since I do not have the permission from their parents to use their real names let me use a pseudo-name Britney and Nihinlolawa (I love both names).

Britney (6yrs) is a “shakara” girl. Some how she got to know that I like her and since then she has been using it against me. There are days she will step on my shoes or I will be calling her she will pretend not to hear. There are days she will invite me to her house for lunch or ask me to read to her. Some days she will make fun of my reading when I have reading assignments. Often, she will ask me to stay back in her house and not leave for mine. She treats me based on her emotions for each day. We play the game “chinko chinko, chikonko chinko”. Know that game? Only those of us that are “ajepako’s” might know it don’t border. How Britney knew I liked her beats me as I guess I am good at hiding such and I have enjoyed people saying I liked A over B or C when actually they are mostly wrong about my preference (s).

Nihinlolawa (4years) for over 2 years or more doesn’t like me at all and she didn’t hide it. She would tell her parents how much she disliked me. She avoids me like plaque. If and when our paths crossed, she will get out of the way for me in a clear show of hatred. I have had to deal with this every week. There are days I feel like spanking her, how can only you out of over 10 or 15 children here not like me? All the other children are my fan, we play rough, we gist, they tell me their issues, we blend so well. With her I kept my cool and promised myself not to buy her love or likeness. I hate transactional love!

I kept managing my “emotional trauma” as dished out to me by these two girls who were innocently just enjoying their life. But these two characters taught me an important lesson. Before I go to the lessons, fast-forward to 2018, Nihinlolawa walked up to me out of the blues and greeted me, that day it was like I won a jackpot, I hugged her and officially asked if she will be my friend and she said yes— I nearly bought a ring to cement our friendship—don’t mind me. Till date we have stayed friends and she tell me she misses me when I go about all my ‘’waka’’ and I miss service. How blessed I am to find love where there wasn’t one before.

I respect Nihinlolawa for not pretending or hiding her hatred for me back then. Same with Britney whom I know is my number 1 fan who just chose to show it differently and in her own way. But the important lesson is love cannot be forced. When human’s love or hate each other, time has a way of healing it only if both parties allow it. You will always be loved and be hated, those who love you will love you, those who hate you will hate you and for no reason. We process and show love differently. Hatred seems to have its standard processes. Knowing this as a fact of life is an important foundation for building very strong emotional intelligence. Envy, hatred and love are all part of the bargain in life. Love people for who they are and not what they can give you. Love is a tall order. Love is relative, Love is not necessarily a beautiful thing except we make it so–I think!

Now whoever knows Britney should tell her that by time she is 16yrs that is when I will pay her back with my own shakara. I will come to her manticulation wearing a t-shirt with ‘’Britney is a shakara girl’’ bodly written on it and I will sit in the front row. On her wedding introduction I will make her pay a fine for doing shakara to me and I will collect it in dollars or pounds- ko ju be lo. Do me I do you, man no go vex. Jah preserve us all. Geskia that her shakara can get to me at times ka ma pa iro (make we no lie). How can a whole Chief Exec be calling “omo kekere (small girl)” and she will pretend not to hear—she taught me additional humility.

As for Nihinlolawa, I am still watching to see if our friendship will stand the test of time, otherwise I will head to the court and sue her for emotional inconsequential absurdity – I leave the courts to determine what that means and If I have a case. Sebi the celebrity policewoman said we can sue a girl if one sends transport money to her and she didn’t show up, I should be able to win this case, even if the Supreme Court gets the mathematics of our friendship wrong.

Happy to have known these two girls and thanks to them for the lessons they taught me and will still teach me.

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2 Responses to What Two Girls Taught Me About Love and Hatred

  1. Coker Phebian Toluwani February 13, 2020 at 12:54 pm

    waow, i have also gained from this. it likely means that nihinlolawa actually love you but detest something in you. Or probably sees you differently before and now know you’re not like that.

  2. Femi Diipo February 21, 2020 at 6:42 am

    Kids are just wonderful and we can always learn alot from them. I think we all should always take note of our experiences with children and how they influence our life generally. Thanks for sharing this


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