The conversation
Chris: Do you think you have money to get that cloth?
Linda: Even if I don’t have it, I will borrow it. I need to show up like a big girl
Chris: To who? Why look big when you are actually small? I mean, no one would help you when you feign your identity.
Lilian: That’s what you think. I need to fake it till I make it. Whatever I don’t attract won’t come to me.
Chris: How do you sleep with so many debts?
Lilian: You really don’t get it, do you?
You see that conversation up there, I know quite a number of people can relate to it and this is how it works, you are either a Lilian or a Chris! I understand that this new techie, social media world of ours has put a lot of people under unnecessary pressure, they want to look the path to be called the path, they want to shine so they can be called the shining star, unhealthy, uncalled for competitions. Everyone is pretty on Instagram, everyone is doing well on social media, no one is poor, everyone is rich. Almost everyone can afford Peruvian hair and all of that but what’s the real-life about? You cannot place it. Some people have listened to motivational speakers to the extent that they think living a life unreal will bring them the benefits they crave for. What exactly is the meaning of Fake it, till you Make it? What if the person you need to make it sees your fake life and takes his/her help elsewhere because you’ve lied about who you are. I believe in being optimistic but don’t live a lie. There is a difference between living a lie and being optimistic when you are optimistic, you see your reality, you would see your present situation but you see ahead of it. You see a way out of it and you work the way out of your present situation, not the other way round of lying about your present situation and living like they don’t exist. Why would you go and borrow things just to shine? Why don’t you wear what you have and then go ahead and work to have more? What you don’t have, you don’t have! Whatever you have, you sure do Have!!!
Let me break this down for you.
- What exactly is worth faking?
Have you sat down to ask yourself this question, what exactly is worth faking? The shoes, the house, the car, the certs, the hair, the bag, the life that you don’t have but wish to have? what is worth faking? Absolutely nothing. There is dignity in being genuine, there is dignity is being sincere and there is power in accepting who you are. There is no higher power than in loving yourself and your journey. It might be rough, tough but you have to accept that it is part of the process that makes you a better person. You have to accept that you cannot be complete without them. There is nothing at all. You fake that you have hairs but when you open your wardrobe you see them empty and you face the reality that you’ve absolutely nothing at all. Money spender without money, without investment, what’s the point?
2. Who are you trying to impress?
This is one important question that I think everyone should ask, who am I trying to impress because the truth is, those you think you are trying to impress, most of them cannot see you. A whole lot of them do not see the impression of any kind. It is important that you be who you are at any point in time. There are lots of people who envy the fancies of other people but do not understand where those people are coming from. Take, for instance, a 25-year-old who wants to be like a Mo Abudu not in work but in the looks. Mo Abudu is over 40 and there is a 25-year-old who’s fascinated by the kind of clothes she wears, the kind of shoes she wears, the way she talks and takes her pictures and you want to contend, compete with that. You want to be what you have not toiled for, what you haven’t worked for. The stories and experiences of these people make them who they are and this is what we need to understand. Before you want to ‘pepper them’ know where those you think have peppered are coming from. The sleepless nights, the tears they have cried, the things they have gone through. There is no need going out of your way to look and be what you are not, work your ass out and let people be naturally impressed by you.
3. Work Work and Work
If you want to really pepper them, you have to really work hard. If you want to pepper them hard, you need to stay on the grind and work very hard at what you do cos that is the real ‘pepper’. Everyone out there, every great person you admire out there have been through some rigorous process, tough times, hard times and that has contributed to who they have become. You cannot bite off more than you can chew. You have to work tirelessly and forget the glitz and glamour. The real pepper them is that you get up and push yourself to the peak of your aspirations. The real pepper them gang is following your goals whether you are applauded or not. That’s the real pepper them a gang.
In essence, there is no need to impress those who aren’t watching, those who aren’t interested in your existence (that might sound harsh but that is what it is).