A Mother’s Role In A Changing World

A Book Review

Title: A Mother’s Role In A Changing World

Author: Diane Akinkanju

Publisher: Inspired Writes Ltd. London, UK 2016

ISBN 978-0-99324492-2-8

 

‘Every child is born good and perfect regardless of your beliefs, custom or religion….They are pure and unsullied, whatever they become is a testament to how we have moulded and formed them over the years’ – Diane Akinkanju

 

Diane Akinkanju is very clear about her intentions, her prayer and her hopes in writing this book. She wants to inspire, offer insight and guidance to mothers of every kind and however they have become mothers, mothers to be, married and single. The author also leaves no doubt about her dedication to and love for all things Godly.

diane-akinkanju

‘A Mothers’ Role In A Changing world’, is a 114 page book with an attitude. It sets its agenda very quickly in the first chapter that is titled ‘In the Beginning’, and for the next nine chapters you are left in no doubt of the authors’ convictions and attitudes to motherhood and the adherence to the teachings of God in raising family.

In her book dedication Diane says…’ I dedicate this book to Jesus, the Glory and lifter up of my head….To my husband, the love of my life, my soul mate, my Honey Bee..Most of all you make me laugh like no one else can. I love you. My children, my rewards….You make me complete. You make me proud. You make my heart sing and you are the reason I am called mother’.

That pretty much tells you all you need to know about this author. She is uncompromising about her faith, love for family, commitment and love of service to humanity.

Diane addresses the need to be prepared for the task ahead of motherhood right from the onset, mentally and physically.

The whole book is punctuated with bible verses and prayer points, which are not necessarily finger wagging, accusatory, or religious fervour but can be experienced as friendly words of teaching, advise, guidance and encouragement.

For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it’. Luke 14:28

Diane’s love of nature and all that is creative can be observed through her exploration of the change in seasons to the beauty of horticulture

‘When there is cold we hope and long for the heat. We start to envision the long warm days ahead….We plant vegetables or seeds…and you picture in your mind’s eye….When the flowers are in full bloom and the fruit and vegetables are ready for harvesting.

In the first few chapters Diane shows her deep understanding and empathy for some of the complexities of motherhood by sharing her own personal experience as a single mother at a point in her life. She does this to further attempt to make connections and to keep things as real as possible.

‘I also empathise with women who are reading this book at the present time. Women who have become mothers, not by choice, but by the dictates of native custom, or through other unfortunate circumstances’

Bonding with a child at different levels and in different ways is very important to Diane and she refers to this throughout her book.

‘A mother never forgets her child. Even in the most unfortunate event of losing a child or having to give up a child. A mother never forgets!’

Diane makes references to great mothers in the bible who were challenged with various maternal issues.

‘Jochebed, the mother of Moses had to give up her son, not by choice, but because of what circumstances at the time dictated’

‘Rebekah was a mother instrumental to what her sons became. She favoured one son Jacob over the other Esau’

‘Hannah the mother of Samuel was instrumental in him becoming one of the most impressionable prophets of the Old Testament’.

Diane uses these examples to stress or impress upon mothers the need to be cognizant of the impact, effect we have on determining the futures of our children. She feels this knowledge must be guarded jealously, respected and honoured. She talks about the words we speak to and about our children and how we must be cautious and mindful about them.

‘Lord, help me to speak that which is right over my child/children. Luke 6:45

‘Help me always to remember that the words of my mouth can result in a good or evil report in the destiny of my child/children. Proverbs 18:21

The author describes her own deep sense of responsibility and dedication to this principle, which she adhered to by taking a hands on approach in guiding the spiritual lifes of her children.

In chapter two which the author titles ‘Speaking the right words’, she explores further about a subject I concur strongly with, which is the positive or negative impact the power of a mothers’ words can have on the child.

‘Words that are spoken constantly and vehemently, whether in anger or in prophesy, begin to take deep root in the spirit of the child. Wrong words can, over time build a wall so thick that it could take years to conquer the obstacles a mother inadvertently created’.

Diane suggests this can lead to the child developing health problems such as bed wetting, low self esteem which can result in a vicious cycle of latching on to poor role models. This is acutely relevant in our age of social media, bullying and the like.

Diane talks about the importance of being vigilant in our children’s lifes so as to be able to pick up on the tell tale signs they usual tend to give off to let us know when they need help or are in trouble in some way. Each child is different and it is up to us to find out how are individual children are communicating with us.

She talks about her own personal experience of picking up on the signs that her 8 year old was being bullied at school and she chose to be proactive in resolving the problem.

I found this to be very true in my experience in raising my own children and even up to this stage when they are young adults and they have an excellent command of language, to say what they need and how they feel. I am still trying to decipher those words and read between the words, look under and over the words when I sense they are in need of something else. That role of a mother changes over the years in its application but remains complex, and still requires vigilance.

In Chapter Three, Diane deals with the knotty issue of discipline, corporal punishment. This is a topic that has been politicised in the western world, but raises many questions and can be polarising.

For whom the Lord loveth, he correcteth, even as a father the son in whom he delighteth’. Proverbs 3:12

My children shall not be destroyed because of indiscipline’. Proverbs 19:18-19

Diane is very honest about her own experience and subsequent reaction to how she was disciplined as a child. She talks about feeling resentment at times when she was not clear and did not understand why she was being punished. While she is clear she is not averse to discipline, she says she believes children should be schooled in the mistakes they make and should always understand why a punishment is being doled out.

She says, ‘chastening or punishing is not always about smacking, beating or brandishing a whip’. There are other equally important, possibly more so, ways of meting out appropriate punishment that recognises accountability, responsibility and consequences for poor behaviour.

The author recommends spending as much quality time as you can with your children as again this builds a strong bond and is also a time to explore those sticky and uncomfortable topics such as puberty, sex drugs, etc.

She takes this a step further and suggests trying to engage the friends of your children. To encourage your children to bring their friends home and try to welcome and entertain them with open arms. This was a strategy that I energetically employed and I was greatly rewarded by it. I found that not only did it allow me to be aware of who they were associating with and give me some insight into their interests, it also as the author suggests allows your children’s friends to feel comfortable around you and in your child’s home.

Chapter Five is called ‘Strange Children’ and I was quite intrigued at what it would contain. In this chapter Diane explores the concept of ‘dark forces’ in relationship to children conceived under questionable circumstances. This is what she refers to as ‘strange child’. She says this is a child conceived from a strange source.

‘The source of our children determines the outcome of their lifes and destinies’. She goes on further to say, ‘I also think it is pertinent to mention that it is not always that the children come from a strange or alien source. Sometimes the things and vessels they come into contact with could become channels or vessels through which a child begins to demonstrate strange behaviour and negative behaviour.’

These are issues that are very personal to your own individual beliefs and faith. It will resonate or not with different people.

The author is adamant that parents need to be more aware of the company their kids keep, the information that their children are exposed to and the materials their children have access to. These particular views have definitely been my personal modus operandi with my children.

In Chapter Seven, Diane addresses the important issue of treating children as our possession. This is particularly relevant in African culture. She says in the opening paragraph, ‘They are not our possessions. They are given to you by God so that you can love, watch over them, and nurture them’.

Diane suggests we have been entrusted and blessed with the gift of children and should hold that responsibility lovingly by allowing them to fulfil their God given destinies. I hold no arguments on that one.

‘A Mother’s Role In A Changing World’ will mean different things to different people. If you are a Christian then it more than likely will represent a parent’s Holy Grail. If you are not, it holds many gems that will equally be of great value to you.

It’s a little book with a big punch. Its accessible, it’s funny, it’s generous, it’s gentle, it’s loving……I met its author Diane Akinkanju and these are all words that I would use to describe her!

Diane Akinkanju works in London with the rehabilitation of offenders. She is married three adult children.

You can catch Diane on www.dianemusings.co.uk

Official Book Launch: Saturday 17th September 2016-09-11 4:00 pm – 7 pm

At Christian Life Centre. 11 Arnott Close, off Titmus Avenue. Thamesmead SE28 8BG

 

 

 

 

 

 

Source: abovewhispers

Sign up for Updates

20 Responses to A Mother’s Role In A Changing World

  1. Femi Diipo September 18, 2016 at 4:29 am

    As a father to be; I’d still love to read this book. This is a wonderful review

    Reply
  2. precious September 21, 2016 at 9:01 am

    like the topic important important of a mother in changing the world. Really interesting it’s the role of both parent but mostly the mother. I said so because 75% of children in the world are more closer to there mother. psychological the mother has the greatest job in the upbringing of her child. if you check the life of every successful child its always more works from the mother. to crown this up I love my mother.

    Reply
  3. henry September 21, 2016 at 9:04 am

    tomsup to our mothers. they have the greatest role on parent.

    Reply
  4. maveedah September 21, 2016 at 9:06 am

    Hmmmm really informative article….as a mother to be am happy to have learnt a whole lot….God bless the writer

    Reply
  5. onozare September 21, 2016 at 9:09 am

    Mothers are really sacrificial on their actions…sioo many sacrifices on their husband,childrrn,to mention but a few….God bless MOTHERS

    Reply
  6. opeyemi September 21, 2016 at 9:12 am

    My mum is a real example of TRUE MOTHERS….She is my first role model on my learning how to be mother….happy i came across this article

    Reply
  7. Princess September 21, 2016 at 2:46 pm

    Waaaaaoh this is a beau one, God bless you maam for this educative write up. A mother is someone who cares, love and sacrifies her all for her children. Being a mother is not easy at all especially when you have intransigent children.

    Reply
  8. DSEED September 21, 2016 at 2:47 pm

    However it is indisputable that the most important
    achievement of a mother is the raising of sensible, virtuous children who will then move on to build other strong blocks for society. It has been said that it is easy to bear children but it is
    difficult to raise them well. In that lies the challenge for all mothers. God bless Mothers.

    Reply
  9. Harryrrah September 21, 2016 at 3:09 pm

    Some people think when a woman have a child or children makes her a mother. That’s a fallacious premise, what makes a woman a mother is her ability to act as one. My mum is an example of a mother because she cares and provides for her family, I call her “La bonne mere” meaning The good mother in french.

    Reply
  10. Olowolafe Olanrewaju September 21, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    Mothers are timeless teachers in the classroom, they teach us to believe in God, they teach us to have confidence and belief in our selves, they teach us to pray etc. Motherhood means a lot to me. Can’t wait to be one.

    Reply
  11. Ebonychyqui2 September 21, 2016 at 3:34 pm

    Five gbosas to every mother out there. Mothers are really trying, they could be very obstinate when it comes to defending their children and husband. God bless my mother and every other good mother out there!

    Reply
  12. olaluv September 21, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    Mothers, they teach us to leave out our legacy. The most inspiring human beings I have seen in earth are women. Am so delight in my mother because she have been the best. What I child becomes in future mostly depends on mothers, because they stay long together.

    Reply
  13. lanfem. September 21, 2016 at 5:39 pm

    Mother roles in ones life is very important. To see the examples of mothers illustrated in this article and also in the bible you will agree with me that the roles of mothers are so essential. Mothers should learn how to effect the life of there children positively. Most especially the words they alter and also in there characters.

    Reply
  14. Olakunle Olajide September 21, 2016 at 10:54 pm

    “Iya ni wura iye biye” in the yoruba dialect. You can’t just buy a mother with any amount of money. The points made here are so genuine and real with this changing world that we are presently in. It’s good to know that we have mothers that are ready to make everything right for their children. Thank you ma.

    Reply
  15. Legzycool September 21, 2016 at 10:57 pm

    The joy and pain mothers go through really amazes me. I have experienced it with my mum, where she sacrificed everything for her children. May God bless every loving and disciplined mother out there.

    Reply
  16. tbams September 22, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    Beautiful review… I wish all mothers will get this book and read so as to take note of all the important points it entails to b a wonderful mother. Not all women out there are mothers. Some just helped in bringing the children to the world but are not mothers to the children because they are not training them in Godly ways… GOD bless all mothers out there and reward their labour of Love.

    Reply
  17. Bamisebi toluwalope September 22, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    God bless our dear mothers. Good book. Am really interested in reading this book cos am going to be a mother someday and I want to train Godly children, nations pride and God’s heritage. I love the review and I concur with every points you’ve made especially the part of speaking the right words. Mothers are angels sent from our heavenly father’s but just few women are faithful in their angelic roles… 7 Gbosa’s to our dear mothers. May God bless and keep you mothers to eat the fruit of your labour. God bless our fathers also oo

    Reply
  18. Mercy September 28, 2016 at 6:13 am

    Very nice article – really Learing some great things here. I am so sharing this ASAP…..

    Reply
  19. Timmie_K September 28, 2016 at 6:47 am

    Shout out to all mothers and mothers-to-be out there. The role of mothers can never be overstated. Mothers are builders and makers.
    May the Lord continually increase your wisdom of His word, Diane (Amen). A really great piece #THUMBZUP

    Reply
  20. KENECHUKWU CAMILLUS December 5, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    who will ever do without a mother, ever the motherless when asked will tell how it feels been without mother. I LOVE YOU MUM.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Notify me of new posts by email.