A few days ago, a video and photographs appeared on Facebook, posted by a Nigerian teenager who calls herself ‘Teddy Skitt’. The photographs were of Teddy and her boyfriend, with a towel wrapped around their chests, the message from Teddy read, ‘Good morning. Boo made my night. I love u baby’. Teddy did not look older than sixteen, neither did her ‘Boo’. If ‘Boo’ had looked older, then the issue would have been statutory rape and the suitable punishment for someone preying on a naïve young girl. Both of them seemed well under 18, which makes them juvenile delinquents. Many people who commented on this alarming post asked, ‘Whose child is this?’ I stared at the images, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. If I had started having sex at sixteen and been stuck with the consequences, I could be Teddy’s grandmother. A lot of the responses to Teddy’s risqué post could be considered to be ‘slut shaming’ – an all too familiar phenomenon on social media in which women are called all manner of names when they dare to express themselves sexually or engage in behavior that is sexually explicit. My feminist antennae always goes up whenever I detect this. If a woman above the age of consent decides to post a video about how much sex she had the night before, I would be happy for her – it is a great way to start a day! But a sixteen year old, possibly younger? She and her ‘Boo’ deserve a good walloping for reckless behavior. It is bad enough that they had sex at their age. They had the audacity to post a video about it? My God, I feel so old. The world is indeed coming to an end.
When I was growing up, the philosophical answer to the question, ‘Whose child is this?’ was ‘This child belongs to all of us’. Not anymore. I am sure when the photographs of Teddy and her Boo emerged last week, the response to the question in the minds of many people would have been, ‘Not mine’. Of course there is great relief in thinking that your daughter or son would never dare show up half naked on Facebook, after going at it all night. The more appropriate response to the question ‘Whose child is this?’ in my own opinion should not be ‘Not mine’ but, ‘I hope my own child is not stupid’. When you say ‘Not mine’, you are in denial. Do you know exactly where your child is or what they are doing? What is your child doing online? What is your child doing offline? Are you having the same non-conversations about sex with your children as your parents had with you? Our parents never talked to us about sex. We never even dared to ask. Even when we summoned the courage to ask, we were met with withering stares or a mumbled response. When I started my periods, all my mother said was ‘You need to be careful’. That was it. No long story about the ‘Birds and the Bees’. I filled in the rest of the information courtesy of my seniors in boarding school, my teachers and the ‘True Love’ or ‘True Life’, romance magazines that my mum hid away from me but which I found and read anyway.
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Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Social Entrepreneur and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com
12 Responses
This is what the world has turned to. The era where nudity is not a big deal. I remember as a teenager, we use great people as our role model, those we see on TV, hear and read about. But what is the order of the day now? Who are the role models we look up to? What do we see and read about everyday? These are the mindsets growing in the mind of teenagers now. May God help us.
I so love this write up, because I can’t but relate to it. One thing that helped me deal with sex pressure while I was in my late teens aside my faith, is to always remember where I’m coming from and to ascertain what I want my tomorrow to be like. Hence, I never stop thinking about the consequences of premarital sex on my future happiness and my present emotions. I’d also say that young people, especially females need to exercise discipline, contentment and wisdom at all time. May God help this present generation.
This write up is one of the best. The children might not know the consequence of what they did. Just that, this is what the world has turned into. Is up to the parent to be more vigilant.
This write up is awesome, I love it. In this world of ours people no longer respect their body! They just feel they can eat their cake and have it. Truth be told sex is a sin outside marriage and thus not meant 4 teenagers, so ZIP UP!
The fact still remains that nowadays children are the product of nowadays parents. Some parents don’t even have time for their kids in that they work all day and leave the child in care of their maid. Now tell me how will such child learn moral values?
This is technology age where immorality and vanity are revered as the way to live. Those who work hard, struggle to earn pittance, while some make little efforts and yet make more than they can live on. This kind of life is more appealing to the present generation. Who wants to build the latest technology when you can drop off a hit single singing about nothing. I have nothing against the entertainment industry/social media as I enjoy it tremendously. However, they do a lot harm than good these days what’s with the stuff that come off them. They encourage all manner of things from young people. Before they become teenagers I think parents should do more in raising children. Make your children ur friends and let them know you can understand or grapple with their reality and dilemma. And don’t live in denial when you find out something about that child, extend your arms of love instead. Next time he/she wont hesitate to seek you out when the need arises.
Hmm… It is well. As I read this I wonder the kind of parent I’m going to be, and I hope I’ll be able to handle the awkwardness of having to tell my 13 year old daughter about condom someday.
Unfortunately we are in a world where old time religion, teachings, culture are seen as ‘Archaic’. This write up couldn’t have come at a better time and amidst having a lot to say, we all just have to be more Vigilant, attentive and not forget the old time discipline I must say it shaped a lot of us.
Technology I must say has done more harm than good in our present generation and parents are not helping matters at all because most of them buy this gadget for their kids and encourage them to join the social network where they associate themselves with corrupt minds and watch nude videos. May God have mercy on the teenagers and grant them grace to abstain from every immoral acts.
This write up is nice and I hope parents, teenagers, youths, and even children learn and change. I pray we the youths become good parents that will influence the lives of our children positively
I still wonder the kind of courage that took this teenage girl to video herself nd her boo and post it to the world to see. This can only be influence or peer pressure. Maybe her friends dared her or something. But this is the world that we live now.. The children and teenagers now do stuff that are not meant to be. Technology has taken over and parents are too busy to talk to their children. May God help us ijn
Still thinking on how i will raise my children when the time eventually comes. It gets more complicated every single day. Really troubling and heart aching. Sigh.
Children of nowadays…… I wonder what this our generation is turning into. I remember when i was growing up, as in when I was in my 20’s I dare not talk to a guy or have a conversation with my friends and mention a chap’s name when my Parents are around. That will be the end of me, seriously this generation is producing end time teenagers. Only God can save us from this teenage brouhaha