1. Out With All Of The Ariana Grande Tunes And In With The Zains (both Maher and Bhika)
Tryna keep it halaal in all aspects – even what we jam to – means trading pop music for religious chants and recitations.
2. Accepting That You Will Never Be Able To Get Away From That Samosa Smell On Your Headscarf
Because it’s your job to fry them up for iftaar (breaking fast at sunset) and that takes up, oh just about all your free time between the Asr and Maghrib prayers each afternoon. By about day 10 of Ramadaan, you’re barely able to stand the sight of them – never mind the smell.
3. Finding A Decent Black Headscarf
Some of us who don’t ordinarily observe hijab want to cover up – and the most versatile item is a black headscarf. But finding the perfect one – one that doesn’t slip off, isn’t too short and isn’t itchy – can itself take 29 to 30 days.
4. Feeling Like Princess Elsa At Sehri Time
When you’re waking up for your pre-dawn suhoor meal your house is an ice palace and you are flippin’ Frozen. And let’s not even get started on the jihad daily, personal battle to make your ritual ablutions for the morning prayers at this hour, in these temperatures, in icy water straight out of your frozen plumbing. 5. Obsessively checking your breath
You know that saying about a fasting person’s breath smelling better than musk? Yeah, that was figurative. Totally figurative. Brushing your teeth at 5am and hoping for the best all day can be a bit of stretch and unfortunately chewing gum, even if you’re not swallowing it, is off limits.
6. Fighting The Urge To Nap Because You Don’t Want Your Wudhu To Break
Sleeping is one of the things which break wudhu (those ritual ablutions we mentioned earlier), and when the time for the late-afternoon prayer, Asr, is only 10 minutes away, all you can think is: “Come on eyelids. Don’t fail me now.” Because losing your wudhu means having to wash in that icy water, all over again. And we really don’t want to have to do that.
7. Filling Your PVR With Episodes Of The Kardashians
In South Africa, the TV traditionally gets switched off for the month – except for Islamic channel ITV and the news, of course. This is to encourage everyone in the house to make better use of the time they would usually spend watching their favourite shows by, for example, praying, reading Quran or giving to charity. But we still miss catching up with Kim & Co’s crazy antics. Yes, there will be a catch-up marathon in a couple weeks. 8. Sweatpants, scarf tied, chilling with abaya on. That’s when I’m the prettiest, I hope Snapchat doesn’t take it wrong
Adapted Drake lyrics never looked this good. Because you’re spending so much time praying, preparing for prayer, sneaking naps or – let’s face it – frying those damn samosas, you may well spend all month in sweatpants with an abaya thrown over. 9. Seven missed is seven gained
Women can’t fast or pray while menstruating. Sure, it can be nice to have a few days’ off from fasting but you’re just gonna have to catch it up later – and it’s much harder to be fasting when everyone else isn’t. 10. Being on your best behaviour 24/7
They say Shaytaan is chained during the month of Ramadaan so there’s no one to blame any bad behaviour on during this time. We all have our different definitions of what bad behaviour is – but when it comes to trying to avoid it, sometimes it can be difficult.
11. The Only Sunset Pictures Getting Instagrammed Will Be Of Your food
You waited all day for this, man.
12. Eid Shopping Until You Literally Drop
You need the perfect Eid outfit, but come weekends, every mall is crawling with other people out to find that perfect look – and your poor fasting constitution can’t bear the heat or the hustle.
Ramadaan is the month where we all try to be our best selves, in the hope that we can carry this through into the rest of the year. And while a lot of time is given to solemn prayer and quiet reflection it is also a time of much joy and mirth. Jokes aside though, we wish you a blessed month. Happy fasting!
One Response
Hmmmmmmmmmmm, true talk and a nice piece. It’s so funny when your Muslim male friends can’t be free with you the way they usually do all in the name of fasting and immediately after one month they are back to there normal self and old lives. And all ur female friends suddenly change from bad to good for the the next one month. Not judging anybody or trying to b sentimental, God sees our heart, so let’s just try to be real to him and not pretending to be for the next one month and go back to our vomits afterward . may God help us in all our deeds ijn.
Ramadan Kareem to all our Muslim brethren. May our prayers be answered ijn.