I have always been fascinated by the variety of things that pop up on my TikTok feed. I have never posted a video on TikTok, but after running into a number of dubious challenges linked to the platform, I allowed curiosity to get the better of me and I started to check more regularly. These are some of the things I have come across recently that I have found quite interesting. I am not going to explain these things in too much detail. If you have a TikTok account, you can use the key words to find the information. If you don’t have one, you can download it, you will thank me for this, especially when it will prove better and cheaper than spending time and money hanging out at a shopping mall or your tenth party in a month.

THE IFUNANYA SAGA

Ifunanya is a young, US-based Nigerian woman, who posted a series of videos recently, about the fate of her father in the hands of his relatives. Her father had lived and worked in the United States for many years, and decided to retire to his village in Anambra State.

Things were going well, till Ifunanya started to worry about not hearing from her father for a while. After months of trying to reach him unsuccessfully, she booked a flight to Nigeria and found her way to the village.When she got to her father’s impressive house, there was a heap of sand piled up in front of the gate, which implied lack of access. When she demanded to be let in to see her father, she was told by her Uncle and Aunt that her father was in Abuja. They even put another Uncle on the phone who lived in Abuja, and he confirmed that Papa Ifunanya was with him. As this discussion was going back and forth, one of the women in the community whispered to Ifunanya that her father was in the compound.

To cut a looooong story short, Ifunanya gained access to the house, and found her father bedridden, barely conscious, emaciated, and basically dying. Ifunanya shared many videos of how she rescued her father, took him to Lagos, then on to the United States, and then there was another war with yet another Uncle over there, who wanted her father to sign some documents. It was like something out of a Nollywood drama with Parts 1-16. TikTok (and other social media platforms like Facebook) was on fire for weeks with many people doing their own videos, overwhelmingly in support of the brave Ifunanya.

Lesson(s) learnt: For those of us who have always insisted on equal value being placed on boys and girls, we have been vindicated. Even if you have ten successful children, pray that you have one KIND child among them. Thank you, Ifunanya, for being the face of many strong, capable and dutiful daughters out there. From now on, when you hear, ‘Papa, na Girl’, dance the David dance. She could be your ‘Ifunanya’.

ANTIPASTOGATE

July 4th is Independence Day in the United States. It is a day when families have ‘cook outs’ and garden parties to celebrate the day together. A lady called Nicole had just moved into her neighbourhood in a rural area. Her son had made a friend at school, and the mother of that friend, who is called Samantha, invited Nicole to a July 4th party that was taking place in the neighbourhood, hosted by a couple known as Jake and Stasia Hicks.

Nicole asked Samantha if it was okay to take a dish, and she was told that it would be perfectly fine. When Nicole walked into the Hicks’ home, she was under the impression that she was an invited guest. It turned out she was wrong.While she was encouraged to leave her young son to play with his friends, she was shown the door. She barely had time to drop off the lovely Antipasto salad she took with her. Her friend Samantha did not seem to have been clear about the invitation she had extended to Nicole, so she conveniently stayed away when the owners of the home were showing Nicole out.

Poor Nicole grabbed her son and left, even her son’s young friend left with them, not wanting to be left in such an unfriendly environment. She felt so humiliated and embarrassed, she did a TikTok video that has been seen all over the world, and she wept through it all. She also posted an image of the Antipasto salad she took to the place, it looked beautiful.

A number of things happened after that. Not only did Nicole find favour with millions of busy, busybody and idle TikTokers alike, Antipasto salad has now been declared an official dish for July 4th. Many who have never heard of it before have got Nicole to post the recipe (it has always been available on Google) and she has been invited to countless ‘cook outs’ and home parties around the country. The issue generated a lot of debate on community responsibility, hospitality, and appropriate adult behaviour.

A number of ‘analysts’ linked the behaviour of the Hicks’ to the way the USA was being unfriendly towards the rest of the world at the moment – let us leave that matter for now.Lesson/s learnt: When you get a third-party invitation to a house party, make sure you confirm with the original host so you do not end up complaining on TikTok.

If you are a host, and an unexpected guest shows up and names Mr X as the person who invited them, offer them a seat and take it up with Mr X and not the guest. Especially if they show up with something nice. All of you who show up at events empty handed, you will be judged henceforth. If you are not sure what to take when invited to a house party, you can’t go wrong with wine, fruit, cake, flowers, candles or diffusers.THE CAT STORIESI don’t think it is possible to avoid Cat Stories on TikTok. They fall into two broad categories.

There are the stories about female cats (who are always pregnant and suffering) and the male cats (who are always cheating and abusive). Their lives are dramatic, messy and predictable. Then, there is the Orange Cat. The Orange cat has as many identities as its nine lives – psychopath, funny, adventurous, disloyal, loyal, entrepreneurial, selfless, selfish and talented. He has a wide network of friends drawn from other species. When he has a problem (which is all the time) he calls another animal friend for help. He often traps and kills the friend, has a dance party, roasts his victim and uses his fur for clothing. Sometimes he calls a friend to help lure another friend, then they do the killing, eating, dancing and fashion parade together.

Lesson(s) learnt: Cats or humans, our lives are dramatic, messy and predictable. However, since we are human beings, we ought to know better and do better. As for the complicated Orange Cat, his psychotic tendencies aside, he teaches a valuable lesson in the importance of building social capital. The solution to his many problems is always a phone call away.

WE DO NOT CARE (WDNC)

It is possible that you have seen this on TikTok and scrolled by, We Do Not Care. Ever since our amazing African-American founder, Melani Sanders, declared that perimenopausal and menopausal women no longer care what the rest of the world thinks of us, we have not cared.

We do not care if you find it strange that we are hot when everyone else is cold. We do not care if it bothers you that we are cold when everyone else is hot.

We do not care if our handbags weigh more than our suitcases – we have a lot of stuff to carry. We do not care if we have five bottles of lotion open at once, mind your own business.

We do not care if we go out with four fans of different sizes, it is our problem not yours. If you meet the entry requirements and want to know more about the WDNC club, check it out on TikTok. Melani, you rock!

Lesson(s) learnt: As a qualifying member of the WDNC club, it is so refreshing to simply not care. I know I am not alone.There are other popular topics on TikTok that have kept content creators busy recently, such as President Donald Trump vs President Joseph Boakai and the verdict of the P. Diddy trial. In the case of the former, whoever says History, Geography, International Diplomacy and Etiquette are unimportant, should think again. In the case of the latter, male entitlement, drugs, sex addiction, bloated egos and enablement have always been a toxic combination. Life continues on the platform where everyone has the right to a voice. I love it!

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Leadership Coach, Policy Advocate and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com