I know you said we should not grieve
No, I am not grieving
I am just sad
I know you would not want us to cry
EJ, how is that possible?
You wanted us to celebrate and be joyful
I celebrate your life dearest sister
And I am joyful that our paths crossed all these years ago
It is hard to remember when I did not know you
We were two curious and excited young women who met in Madrid
We sat together and listened to all the older sisters from all over the world
They wanted to make the world a better place
We too wanted to know how to make things better
We were black, we knew about racism
We were women, we knew about sexism
We were young, we knew about ageism
We were African, we knew about marginalisation
We were idealistic, we knew about hope
We were idealistic, young, black, African women
We knew about the multi-layered oppressions we would have to contend with
We connected, and even though there were always distances between us
We were never truly apart

Our journey together has been a long one
We learnt, listened, travelled, debated, wrote, spoke, organised
mobilised, danced, laughed, cried, questioned and sought answers together
Our little sons played with each other as we ran around fixing one thing or the other
I know you said we should not grieve
I am not grieving
I am simply lost
My sister with the many colourful hats
The lovely shades of lipstick
The bountiful locks of hair
The many, many many dresses of all styles, shades and textures
The explosions of purple and pink
All of which you rocked like the rock star you were as you lit up every room you were in
EJ,
Three score years is too soon
I know how excited you were to join the Diamond Club
Yet, the years do not matter
You lived a life of true meaning and impact
A life that surpasses several life-times
Feminist, leader, thinker, strategist, disrupter,
straight shooter, orator, writer, Reggae lover
Mother, Grandma, Mother-in-love, sister, friend, daughter, Aunt
You meant so many things to the universe
My beloved sister with the many wrappers
Inexhaustible wrappers of all colours and sizes
You wrapped every one who needed it with the right amount of love, solidarity,

care, and if necessary, a kick in the behind
Rest well my dear sister
You have earned it
I will always remember the sparkle in your eyes
And the way they would widen when you heard something interesting
Your voice will not be forgotten
Your words will always resonate
Your concerns will give us cause to reflect
Your humour will make sure we smile
Your wisdom and clarity will serve as a guide
Your generosity will always remind us to pay it forward
Your joyful laugh will keep us warm
Take heart Andile and your siblings
Your mother’s spirit will always be in and with you
EJ would have wanted you to know, from the words of the Bob Marley song she loved so much
‘Don’t worry about a thing, every little thing’s gonna be alright’
EJ
Shero, warrior, protector, shield, guide, torch bearer
My friend
My sister
My comrade
My purple loving co-traveller
I will miss you forever

Everjoice Win (1965-2025) was a Feminist, Gender Specialist, Development Practitioner, Thought Leader, Writer, Pan-Africanist and Community Leader from Zimbabwe. Popularly known as EJ, she was a force of nature. She spent her life challenging oppressions and seeking a better society for all. She was a steadfast and untiring champion of the rights of women and all marginalised persons. May her soul rest in perfect peace.

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Policy Advocate and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com