‘In her 30s’  This is the place where I share my daily ordeal with y’all on a weekly basis. I try to talk to you cos I feel y’all can relate with me or will be able to relate with me.

You are welcome! Let me formally introduce myself; My name is Miriam. I am an event planner, content editor and a jolly good fellow. I am not married but I am in my 30’s and being the only female in the family, my parents want me to get settled. ‘Money doesn’t solve companionship’ in their words. 

Before y’all come for me and think that my own is too much ehn, see, I am a very reserved babe o but this our African setting makes it easy for some people to want to pry into your business and they have no guts to do so.

Today, I am sharing an experience I had early in the week.  Unfortunately, a lot of us women have experienced this misogynist statement and approach and it is high time it stopped.

Miriam, what happened this time? A very good friend of mine asked me. I am not even bothered about me but the fact that it’s been happening.  I responded. What’s been happening? talk to me. She said.

I am so livid. It’s a crime to be an outspoken woman in this part of the world. Earlier today, I went to pitch a business proposal to a company and a man who’s one of the top guys in the company said to me… Madam, men handle all of these things for us this one that you are a woman now, we hope it turns out well and we don’t get carried away by your beauty.

Excuse me? What did you just say? You know what? Hold your contract and give it to a man.  I responded. I couldn’t hold back how irritated I was. I couldn’t fake it. I couldn’t pretend. I carried my files, got up and my assistant and I left the room. I could see how shocked they all were including the women in the room. Like what! Some few steps to the elevator, the project manager beckoned on me. Miriam, it’s not that hard now? You could have given a more appropriate response and I asked him, what’s more, appropriate please? Oh! That kinda statement is appropriate because I’m a woman. Why would anyone be belittled like that?

If a woman were to be a part of the delegation and a man was pitching, would she even question his gender? Why must my gender be questioned? I am either good at what I do or not. I don’t need stories. I am not trying to impress anyone. Then he goes; ‘all you these independent women sef, you people like wahala. You misinterpret things a whole lot. Life is not that hard now?’ Wow. I think pitching to this company was a bad idea, I said to myself. I looked at him, shook my head and responded to him. I wonder how women in this environment cope because this atmosphere is irritating. Miriam! He said in shock. Listen, the earlier you ‘dependent men learn to reason appropriately, the better’ he kept quiet. I pressed the open button of the elevator and entered and it’s goodbye for good. I kept wondering to myself, when would this stop?

When will women be addressed by what they can offer not because of their femininity? When would men accept a woman who’s big enough as big enough and not as a treat to their ego?

When the woman is owning her space, they question everything about her. Oh, she got this because she slept with this man but never is the man questioned for owning his space and you see most of these educated men, they are the worst! They do the most.

I left that building with no regrets, I am still mad but I am glad I turned down their crazy asses. As a woman, I am up to impress and surpass myself and nothing else. If you have issues with that, get help!

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