Being a woman in the 21st century comes with myriads of benefits and struggles as well. The emergence of various female empowerment movements and groups has put to the fore the importance of women forming an alliance and encouraging one another, however; the existence of these movements does not mean the absence of female rivalry which can be toxic and exhausting. Age shaming is real and it happens frequently even in the sanest places we find ourselves but our lack of admittance makes it seem like it does exist.
Age shaming among women has always been in existence with varying level of effects, interestingly most women are unaware of being guilty of perpetuating this act. Think of that colleague who shares the same office space with you constantly trying to keep with being cool because she knows she’s older than but out of fear of being ridiculed she tries to keep up by putting on an act or that young lady studying the same course in your department who probably got admitted into the same programme quite late due to various reason; but constantly walks on eggshells out of fear of being mocked because she’s older. “She thinks she’s a small girl” “ you look old for your age” “ look at that old cargo” “ grandma of the class” “you re too old to be wearing shorts” and the list goes on are oftentimes used to degrade women who find themselves in younger circles; which has long term damage on their self-image.
There’s so much importance placed on a woman’s age which makes it seem like everything she does ride on it because society has placed so much importance on using age as a measurement for success. Ageing should be celebrated rather being used as a yardstick for measurement on how one should enjoy their life, imagine making jokes about your friend telling her that she is ageing and what her response will be. With women the subject of age is very controversial and a quite sensitive topic, some women go above and beyond to reduce their age out of fear of being referred to as being old, hence concealing their age and treating it as a secret is the order of the day. Unfortunately for some that are so engulfed with keeping up a certain image that they forget about their lives which can be quite humorous.
Oftentimes perpetrators of age shaming, harbour personnel insecurities based on their appearance which they channel in a derogatory manner which is portrayed in a manner that is quite unpleasant. These insecurities are triggered by physically identifying traits associated with ageing such as fine lines, wrinkle marks, greying of the hair which sometimes may be premature which are inevitable, the “age shamers” as I like to call them never miss an opportunity to draw one’s attention to these things followed with reasons why they will never be caught having, which sometimes leaves one wondering if they have a terminal illness. It is quite laughable that they claim to be up to date with the latest skincare routines and beauty products available to combat ageing but the usage of these products are oftentimes abused.
Unfortunately, some women internalise the comments made by “age shamers” makes some women depend heavily on beauty treatments without getting the help of professionals all at the cost of maintaining a youthful appearance. By being perpetrators of such acts through continuous action that ageing is something shameful we contribute to this problem which disempowers women because it simply implies that the older you grow the invaluable you become which should not be the case. While worrying most of the time on what changes you are experiencing with regards to ageing more proactive measures should be geared towards rewarding activities such as maintaining a healthy lifestyle, working on your self-esteem, a great skincare routine and being around positive minds.