Happy New Year, Welcome to 2020. We are excited to have y’all here with us and we promise to get you engaged in topics that will trigger conversations tending towards growth for women and girls in Nigeria, Africa.
This is about picturing the realities in our society.
Just before you begin : This is a discussion between three social agents, three women involved in different social innovations who’ve been brought together to discuss the different issues they’ve solved, the different stories they’ve heard and how we all can become good influencers, good change agents. I hope this stirs a thing up as you read.
Meet the Change Agents:
My name is Jadesola Olumide, I Work with women in rural and urban Nigeria. My organization teaches them to work with their hands to make money, well that’s what some people call skills acquisition. I have worked with over 5,000 women and I am still working daily with women and girls.
I am Tomi Nelson, I am an advocate against rape and sexual assault in society. I was working in the UK before coming to stay in Nigeria, and I must say I have seen much more than I expected to see. It’s no news that we have a lot to do but it is news that we need hands to make this happen.
My name is Lilian Ukachi. I am a media personality, social media influencer and trainee. I work with women and girls on a daily basis, I listen to them, motivate them to thirst for more and go beyond their boundaries. We have a lot of women and girls out there whose zest for life has been destroyed. It is imperative that we join hands to make their dreams come true.
Moderator: Happy New Year, Ladies. I am glad to have y’all here again.
Ladies: Happy new year, Moderator.
Topic: Social Media Feminists.
Tomi Nelson: (bursts into laughter) Na soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I know right.
Lilian Ukachi : What a way to begin the year. Let’s get to it already
Jadesola Olumide: I am self-made, a woman of valour, I take no prisoners, any man that comes for me will face the music. #Iamafeminist. #takeitoleaveit. Madam, better chill and go and read books.
Tomi Nelson: Break this table already!!!
Moderator: Okay, so, what do you think ladies…
Jadesola Olumide: Seriously, I am happy we are having this conversation because these people have taken over the radar that people now see feminists as men haters, people who are unhappy, people who do not want to get married because of these social media feminists. Social media feminists are basically in for the buzz, they know nothing. They cannot do anything. They are ignorant folks. They don’t even know what feminism is… they haven’t researched, they have not read books, they think feminism is all about making long posts on social media, they think it is all about sharing what a man did to them and how they have recovered to be their own kind of woman and how absolutely no one can mess with them. Like madam, will you shut up and read books. Do you even know how that name came into existence? Do you think feminists are just myopic thinkers? people who don’t know what they are doing? I see their posts and laugh and those ones who also pass comments like #iamnotafeminist I just fight for me… Like seriousssssssllyyyyyy!!! Arghhhhhhhh!!!
Tomi Nelson: Jade! You have spoken. First of all, this is an opportunity given us to school them and we shall. No1. Feminism stands for human rights. We are a club of women who fight for justice and take the lives of women seriously. We fight injustice at every level. We are not a bunch of bitter women, we are not a bunch of women who just want to vent about their husbands. No! some of us are married, some of us aren’t and some of us would be married. We are about making sure that women who are qualified to represent at every sphere are well represented. We are a bunch of women who create a space for every woman at the table. We want women to be represented as men are also represented. We know that this society is a patriarchal one. They see women as weaker vessels and that is what we are fighting against. We are not weak. We have a voice and should be given the space to speak. That is feminism. So, anyone who goes about preaching bitterness is not a feminist. Men-haters on social media aren’t feminists. You had a bad encounter in a relationship and have learnt your lessons doesn’ make you a feminist. There are perks to these things and people should learn to read! that is the problem we have. They have refused to read and are now doing anyhow claiming to be feminists.
Lilian Ukachi: You see, this thing is a thing of the mind. Some people know the right thing but will never ever do it. They know that they are supposed to learn but have refused to learn. They know they are supposed to learn at the feet of great feminists but no ooo… everyone is a king behind the keypads. When you introduce yourself to me as a feminist I ask questions like, do you know Rosie The Riveter, Helen Anjou? Then come to the women we have here in Africa do you know Abena Busia, Bisi Adeleye Fayemi, Ama Atta Aiddo.. Don’t come and tell me that because you have read all the books of Chimamanda Adichie you are now a feminist. Nah! It is more than that. You need to understand if you belong to the category of women who can stand for the rights of the voiceless, women who can speak up for the right things, who can stand in the face of truth and call it as it is. Not women who think that because they bought a house themselves with the help of no man, they are feminists. We applaud your hard work ma’am, but that doesn’t make you a feminist.
Tomi Nelson: Argghhh!!! Schooling!
Jadesola Olumide: Then you have some set of young women who have absolutely nothing but have become overly rude to their elders. They get into the comment section of people and lambast their beliefs and use the hashtag#idonttakeshit then they go on their wall and start writing epistle then end it with #feministtothecore. Excuse me, aunty, let us school you. Feminism is a choice. It is the concept of understanding that everyone has a choice to make and that is why we are making or have made the choice to speak for the rights of people. We have decided that we will not allow the voice of women and girls to go unheard.. Now, there are times, you see things done in a bad light, your role is to understand where the person is coming from and school them. You don’t have to abuse people, insult people to make a clear point? nope. Make your point known and move on. Feminism is about courtsey, going through the right route, doing the right thing. We are not a bunch of women who think everything is wrong with everyone and we are the only sane people on planet earth. Nope. that is not what we stand for. Please, we need people to share this particular gist with those people so they can understand that feminism is deeper than hashtags and some bunch of unschooled women posting on twitter and Instagram
Tomi Nelson: Auntie, one last thing, feminism is not a trend.
Lilian Ukachi : (claps for Tomi) I owe you a hug Tomi. That one sank deeeeppppp. Feminism is not a trend. Ah!
Tomi Nelson: I tell you, it is not a trend. It is a life-long project. It is something you do for humanity. We don’t need it overcrowded. We need people who understand what it is to be a part of it.
Moderator: Thank you, Ladies.
Jadesola Olumide: Please, make sure you share this after reading.