This is about picturing the realities in our society.

Just before you begin : This is a discussion between three social agents, three women involved in different social innovations who’ve been brought together to discuss the different issues they’ve solved, the different stories they’ve heard and how we all can become good influencers, good change agents. I hope this stirs a thing up as you read.

                             Meet the Change Agents:

My name is Jadesola Olumide, I Work with women in rural and urban Nigeria. My organization teaches them to work with their hands to make money, well that’s what some people call skills acquisition. I have worked with over 5,000 women and I am still working daily with women and girls.

I am Tomi Nelson, I am an advocate against rape and sexual assault in society. I was working in the UK before coming to stay in Nigeria, and I must say I have seen much more than I expected to see. It’s no news that we have a lot to do but it is news that we need hands to make this happen.

My name is Lilian Ukachi. I am a media personality, social media influencer and trainee. I work with women and girls on a daily basis, I listen to them, motivate them to thirst for more and go beyond their boundaries. We have a lot of women and girls out there whose zest for life has been destroyed. It is imperative that we join hands to make their dreams come true.

       Topic: Kayamata On The Rise

Lilian Ukachi: (laughs) hayyyyyyyyyy… This our moderator will not kill us oooo. This topic ehn. hmmmmm…

Tomi Nelson: Lilian, you are a media person na. You should know some of these things.

Lilian Ukachi: ehnnn, it is now that you people know that I am a media person abi? Don’t frustrate me oooo

Jadesola Olumide: See, getting a good man is hard, and when you get one, you tie him down cos these men aren’t loyal.

Tomi Nelson: So, you think using jazz to keep a man is the best for a woman? No matter the amount of jazz you use yeah, a man that wants to be kept will be kept. Everyone and their own beliefs but I do not see the need to try to hook your man if he cannot be hooked to you on a natural level. It is not worth the stress.

Lilian Ukachi: What baffles me is the fact that we do this in broad daylight. The fact that women come on board to celebrate these things. You would see testimonies of women saying they sued it on their boyfriends and he proposed marriage immediately or those who would say they did this and that and the man is now cooperating with them. I am not sure I understand what these women think when they engage in things like this just because of a man. Some people even use it to take the husbands of other women. It is not worth it at all.

Jadesola Olumide: It is easier for you. Do you know the kind of sacrifices that some women have made for their men? Do you understand the level at which some women go for the men they love and so, what is bad in protecting that territory? what is wrong is spicing up the marriage according to your terms. (Lilian cuts in)

Lilian Ukachi: No way Jade! No way. I know we have stories of women who have gone so far for their husbands but gotten nothing in return and that is why we are preaching independence. Let women stand on their own. Don’t give more than you can chew and do not believe that one man is your messiah, your retirement plan. That is totally wrong oooo

Jadesola Olumide: Okay, let us start by explaining what Kayamata means to those who have no idea.  Now, Kayamata is a Hausa word. It means a woman’s property and this comes in two variants. It can be sex enhancers or love enhancers and this is just to help the woman keep her property ( her marriage, her man etc) so it depends on what a woman wants. If she wants love enhancers fine, or she wants sex enhancers, very good too. It is good to spice up the marriage. Most times, the sex enhancers are what people use they recently added the special love enhancers to it and seriously if you know what your marriage or relationship needs, you will pick what works for you but trashing it like it is nonsense is what I do not vibe with.

Tomi Nelson: We are not trashing it, or let me speak for myself, I am not trashing it. There comes a time when the love enhancer will not drive a thing again in the life of a man. So, what would the woman do when that time comes? The truth we should preach is getting men to be accountable. Men who would stay faithful, men who would say what they want and stay with it. Cos, sometimes you don’t blame these women. Imagine a guy saying that even if he dates a woman for 7years it doesn’t mean he would marry her. I mean, so if that kind of woman grabs a love enhancer, ‘do as I say’ jazz would you blame her?

Jadesola Olumide: Exactly my point, these men asked for it. You would hear men say their wives cannot satisfy them sexually, so the women get on the gram and buy Kayamata that helps her sex life and the man starts doing all lovey-dovey. Then someone else says add a love enhancer portion to what I gave you before, she does it and sees the result would you blame her? No way. These men called for this and women are tired of heartbreaks. Women are tired of being pushed aside and let me tell you the truth, slaying like a chic is more than what can keep these men. So, you don’t blame those who use kayamata to keep their men.

Lilian Ukachi: The point still remains, women should not just jump in love. Cos, na stress all this kind thing be. Why would I want to stress so much on a man? I don’t get it. From the very beginning let us know what we are doing and I feel instead of using jazz on a man, why not pray to God to help you keep your man. I know God still answers prayers

Tomi Nelson: The way people even patronise them on the gram is very frightening. One said she sells ‘Do as I say Powder, Follow me as I speak cream’ I mean, that is daytime jazz on the person you claim to love… How does that even work?

Jadesola Olumide: Those who use it have testimonies so it works and as I said earlier, they know why they do whatever do and use whatever they use. The women who use these things don’t use them on poor men.

Lilian Ukachi: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy!!! Jade! You killed me there. That is true sha

Jadesola Olumide : Yes na. There is a popular seller on Instagram that sells to women high and mighty. Her clientele is wives of billionaires and millionaires. My sister, las las the woman is protecting her property.

Tomi Nelson: True that but all the same, it is not worth the stress. A woman should be with a man that truly loves her.

Jadesola Olumide: Perhaps, she loves him so much not to want him in the hands of another… Protecting your property.

Lilian Ukachi: But wait, do men use kayamata on their wives or girlfriends?

   Moderator : Perhaps there will be a second part to this 

ALL : We think so