Love is kind, Love is Genuine, Love is free, Love is Unconditional… 

You are welcome to another timeout with madam K. Today, we have a brave woman on the couch. A woman who has come to share her story that other women might learn and not make the same mistakes…

Madam K : You are welcome, dear sister 

Caroline : Thank you madam K. I am glad to be here.

Madam K : Please, share your story with us. 

Caroline : {sighs} Early this year, I decided to move out of my marriage of over 10 years, in fact, 15 years of marriage. People have begged me, family has pleaded with me but my mind is made up over this. I cannot continue to live in a shell, I want to be a free woman, a woman who’s happy, whose money can be used on herself.

Madam K : Hmmmm… Why do you want to leave your marriage?

Caroline : You see, I married this man when we had nothing at all. He was still struggling but I believed in his dreams. The first two years of our marriage, I was the one handling every bill because he couldn’t cater for so much but we managed through, I did it in love hoping that all will get better. Thankfully, he got a well paying job and started living well, I enjoyed this gift for 4 months and then things changed. He started behaving strangely, he became overly possessive, he didn’t allow me talk in the home. He became a dictator and I was wondering what happened to us. He was never like this, what changed? How did it change? I tried talking to him but no, he didn’t listen. In fact, when I changed my job and started earning more than my former pay he requested that I gave the salary to him. I submitted my salary to him after my payday just so that peace might reign in the home.

Madam K : Wow but did peace reign?

Caroline : I don’t know because I didn’t like it. I couldn’t spend my money on things I would love to. He would tell me to write a list, he would be the one to approve what to buy and what shouldn’t be bought. There was a time we were to attend a friend’s party and my husband got there praising himself for being such a man handling so much in the home. He couldn’t even praise me a little. When we got home, I told him that he sounded self centered and unreasonable, he hissed and went to bed and called me a privileged idiot. I wept silly that night and wondered what my offense was. Even if I had done something wrong, couldn’t he talk to me?

Madam K : Did you try to talk to his close friends, mentors about this new attitude?

Caroline : I called his sister and explained to her and guess what she told me. She said, he’s an igbo man and igbo men are always like that. They want to be in charge and now that he has money to change the face of his family, he is displaying his spirit of being in charge and she told me to blend to this new attitude. I listened to her though, decided to blend for over 11 years but there’s something missing inside of me. I kept giving my salary to him for over 11 years and he never saw anything wrong with what he was doing, in fact, there was a day I overheard him talking to his friend that once he receives the other money from his side hustle{my salary} he will send it to him. My salary was his side hustle, it was there I knew that I was a slave to this man. He is not a husband but a mere task master.

Madam K : So, when did you decide to call this quit?

Caroline : I was reading a story one day about speaking up so I sent a message to my friend that I needed to talk to her. We met, she listened, we cried and she asked me a sincere question, she asked if I wanted to leave or would stay forever suffering like this? That was where I knew I wanted out. She gave me the push to take my decision and weeks before that time, I made a brave decision not to give my salary to him. Instead, I got an apartment for me and my kids. He was furious when he expected the salary but I told him no salary this month. In fact, he beat me. I didn’t mind. The next month, I called my children and told them my decision and they stood by me because they knew I wasn’t happy in this marriage, not anymore. I have been out for more than four months now and I would say that my life has been at peace.

Madam K : What did he do when you moved out ?

Caroline : Loool. Oh, I keep wondering how I married such an irresponsible man in the first place. He didn’t come to apologise, instead, he sent his family members to come beg me to come home. I told them that I wasn’t willing to consider marriage again. This journey is to me, my dreams, the chance to live again and live to take good care of my children.

Madam K : What a blessing you are….

Caroline : You have given me the opportunity to share this story with women across the world. Dear woman, You don’t have to suffer like me. Take the step and find good happiness and check if the man is good enough before you marry him.

Madam K : Thank you for coming in here to share your story with us. Thank you.

Readers, see you soon…