For most young adults, the first big problem in a relationship is identifying if it is good for them. Sometimes, in doing that they tend to weigh the bad against the good.

He drinks a lot but when he’s sober, he is very caring. She flirts with other men but considers him the most important man in her life. He does that but……, She does that but…….

Although, the good may seem to “outnumber” the bad, sometimes the few bad attributes may “outweigh” the good.

Such case is when the partner is abusive.

The problem is that most times, as young adults, they may not fully realise that “he occasionally hits me”  or “she occasionally says things that make me feel inadequate” counts as abuse.

So the men and women tarry in such relationships.

The first point of problem then is how to identify an abusive relationship since it is not always black and white.

Sometimes young adults who come from homes where such “little” abuses are a norm, may not consider it a problem when they start experiencing it. The occasional slap across the face or disrespectful statements about their weights may begin to seem like the norm of a relationship.

After a few conversations with young adults, here are a few pointers to an abusive relationship.

•Lack of peace of mind

•Dreading meeting the person

•Spending time together becomes unpleasant

•Fear