This one is for my about-to-wed or already married ladies. Please try to pay attention to every word and line. To the main question; Is marriage the end? Is it the end of your life and even your dreams? I’m sure while growing up, you had a lot of people who asked you what you wanted to be in future and I’m pretty sure your answer was not “I want to get married”.

Marriage is no doubt a beautiful thing. It is almost everyones desire to get married someday to their LOML(Love Of My Life) but it becomes an unhealthy thing if it starts to alter your dreams and goals.

Sometimes, when I see the way some ladies talk about their marriage, I just simply disapprove in my mind. I blame them and I also do not blame them. I blame them because they have reduced themselves to just being a wife and probbaly a mother. This way, they can’t think outside of that part of their lives. I also do not blame them because a lot of ladies were raised with the mindset of “a lady’s place is in the kitchen and the other room”. Some even go as far as saying that “a woman’s education ends in the kitchen”, just imagine that. A big kudos and thank you to parents who do not raise their daughters to be just wives but rather be a force, be successful and be relevant in their society.

One funny thing I also noticed is this, a lot of ladies even in this generation see marriage as an accomplishment and a final bus stop, whereas, it should be a means to an end and not the end itself. Some even take it as far as seeing their unmarried friends as inferior, “wehdone ma”. So because you are now married, we should add “Aunty” to your name or probably start kneeling to greet you? If they are even fortuante to have given birth and you are still single, Oh my goodness, you are in for it. Let’s say you sight one of them in a supermarket, God help you, you probably shouted her first name, just know you are in for an unexpected experience. The look they will give you, no one will need to tell you you’ve committed an abomination. You might even hear things like, stop calling me by my first name, I am now “Mummy This” or even “Mrs. that”. Some will lash out and call you names you were never christened.

My dear married sister, that attitude is extremely wrong, change before it becomes too late to fix. Your friend will continue to be your friend come whatever and you need to understand that.

Back to our discussion, what happened to that ambitious young lady that had dreams of shaking the world, the society or her industry? Marriage should not be a setback for anyone in life, rather, it should make your life journey easier, smoother and even faster. This is just a wake up call to females that probably have this mindset already to change unless your dream is to just be married. Do not forget; you are first YOU before becoming Mrs. This or Mummy That.

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