Binta was raised to believe that her money is hers alone except she is willing to share, her hubby is for the household (my money is mine, your money is ours syndrome).

Mr Alfred, father of one was moulded with the belief that the wife, Binta though a ‘helpmeet’ could share bills but he didn’t give it much thought as he performs his responsibilities especially financial ones satisfactorily.

Sometimes in April, he received an email from his employer, that due to the economic fallout as a result of the pandemic coronavirus, his 5-figure salary will be slashed, he was sad but grateful because he was not fired like two of his colleagues.

Hello, women in the house, there comes a time in our lives that things do not go according to plan, our new reality requires that we support our homes.

Consciously or unconsciously, we see men as providers for the family, yes or no? Say for instance a man took you out, for dinner, do you intend to split bills with him?  Did I just hear you say ko possible! After all, he initiated it.

Even if you insist on paying or splitting the bills, he is very likely to object, “I’m the head”, he will say to himself, this is one of the symptoms of our patriarchal society.

A man once said that any man who receives balance from his wife is not man enough, well that is his opinion.

Now back to the real issue, this syndrome can cause friction in Alfred’s marriage, especially now that they are forced to cut their spending dramatically.

The point of compromise

Suppose your husband who is a diligent man and responsible man, a perfect example of the ‘head of the family’ runs into some financial challenges that make him unable to meet, say 40% of the family needs during this period, will you activate your role as a ‘helpmeet’ and be kind enough to ease him of some burden, even when he does not ask? Or will you say “my money is my money, yours is ours?”

Couples who sit down to have the money talk, review monthly expenses and other positive decisions are likely to weather the storm and post-coronavirus.

This article is not to encourage joint account but to have a rethink because the world is not going to return to normal anymore. You say it is the culture of the man to fend for his family. There is no static culture, it evolves.