‘In her 30s’  This is the place where I share my daily ordeal with y’all on a weekly basis. I try to talk to you cos I feel y’all can relate with me or will be able to relate with me.

You are welcome! Let me formally introduce myself; My name is Miriam. I am an event planner, content editor and a jolly good fellow. I am not married but I am in my 30’s and being the only female in the family, my parents want me to get settled. ‘Money doesn’t solve companionship’ in their words.  Before y’all come for me and think that my own is too much ehn, see, I am a very reserved babe o but this our African setting makes it easy for some people to want to pry into your business and they have no guts to do so.

I am sure you have started to roll your eyes right now, what is Miriam about to talk about. Who’s Miriam about to bash. I am not bashing anyone, I have only come to correct a few things. I know a lot of you know that I am of the ‘unpopular opinion geng’. I do not support everything cos everyone is in support of it. My common sense still works pretty well and I consult it cos it is very reliable. lol. So, we know that men have been very irresponsible from ages past. Men have been somehow. In fact, it was terrible in centuries past but women have now found their voices or let me say, have started using their voices against masculinity and patriarchy.  We are far from where we want to be but we are approaching somewhere.

Men can be irresponsible, men can be annoying, men could have done something quite terrible to you but hey, generalising that all men are scum isn’t the best way to show your intelligence. Miriam, what are you saying? I beat my chest oooo. You have heard me. Some men or maybe most men are irritating in their behaviours and let me shock, the men of my generation can be very entitled and confused. You will be shocked at the way they go about saying they want women who can stand for themselves, independent woman, outspoken and when some of them meet such a woman, they complain that she is too vocal, she is bossy. They are confused and very very entitled but we also have some men who know what they want. We have kind men. We have men who are understanding and very loveable. We shouldn’t generalise our hurt and experiences. Because you have been hurt by a man doesn’t mean that you should take to your social media page to lash out at everyman and in turn become a misandrist in the guise of feminism. No. I wouldn’t take that. One bad egg doesn’t spoil the tray. You met one bad one or more but you should never generalise it. Madam, no be only you get experience ooooo. You are not the only who’s bitter against men but you can channel your hurt positively which is something that we always forget as human beings. We celebrate our lows more than our highs. We emphasis our hurts more than we emphasis our victories. That shouldn’t be the case.

Let me tell you this story, I was in a serious relationship for 4yrs, those years were before my self-discovery. When I started my business and diversified a little bit, Mr Man wasn’t happy. He nagged. This was a man I thought was exposed enough to accept the new strides of his woman. Miriam, you are becoming too busy and that is how pride sets in. Pride? Don’t you want me to grow? Are you against my growth? I am not against your growth but I want you to slow down. I need to understand your perspective. I am not getting it. What is this? what are you trying to say? This is it, women who are too exposed have a way of neglecting their homes. Are you scared or jealous? how dare you call me jealous? See guys, it was a back and forth thing and it took away my peace of mind. I decided to give my mind rest and requested that we took time off to think about it and his immediate response was that we parted ways. Just leave. I need the kinda woman I can stay with. After 4yrs? oh, well!!! Did we have plans, of course, we did. We thought we were heading to a destination but does make me hate on men? No! would I go online and start bashing men? No! Have some of my friends encountered dire situations, of course, they have but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t good men out there? Madam, the way you go about throwing hate around, you will attract the wrong man. You will bring men who will keep disappointing you. Spread love and live life one day at a time.

Men are scum, we know some of them fit into this category, not all of them. Wait, is it because Miriam has found someone? No. It is because Miriam thinks appropriately and wants you to do the same. Miriam wants you to know that hating on men doesn’t make you a feminist but a misandrist. Hating on men will only bring you the wicked ones cos we know there a lot of wicked men out there but my lady, you can stand on your toes and get the best of them.

Let’s gather in the comment section to talk about this.

Please, remember to stay safe o.