Hello Readers, you are welcome to a special hangout for young women who are single, well maybe searching but are working hard, developing themselves, having some societal issues cos they are older and still single, no man, just single. In this part of the world, you know what that is. There is some special kind of adults who don’t pry into asking why ‘you haven’t settled down’  Hmmph! that word, ‘settling down’ can be frustrating at times. I get it though, they say the clock of a woman ticks by the day and the earlier she gets married and gets a baby, the better but wait, what if she hasn’t found the man she needs? will she kill herself? Oh well, you are welcome to my hangout… ‘In her 30’s’  This is the place where I share my daily ordeal with y’all on a weekly basis. I try to talk to you cos I feel y’all can relate with me or will be able to relate with me.

You are welcome! Let me formally introduce myself; My name is Miriam. I am an event planner, content editor and a jolly good fellow. I am not married but I am in my 30’s and being the only female in the family, my parents want me to get settled. ‘Money doesn’t solve companionship’ in their words.  And today, I will be gisting about…

                                                                                 Surely They Shall Gather

Miriam, what is this story about again? You are wondering yeah, just follow me closely. I had a presentation to do somewhere in Lagos, a very big gig for me, I had researched, worked my ass off on it and the deal day came to show what I’ve got. I had this jittery feeling, semi-cold and hot temperature cos a lot of renowned companies were also involved and wanted this gig. I won’t lie to you, it was either a win or a win. I had spent too much money and time on this thing for me to get turned down, well, it will do good for my CV but I love to win, who doesn’t? I saw the lineup of companies bidding for this so, I researched them and nailed them where they failed just for me to be a step ahead. They could belittle me but I have checked out their excesses and have used them to my advantage.  Dress corporately chic, they said in the mail and I did. I wore a very nice dress, curvy but really nice and very good hair cos you need to look like a money bag to get some dollars. You need to show your client that you are not ‘suffering’ at least na… When I got there, I sat down, they were calling us one after the other to make the first pitch and after that session, we would be told to a room and do the second one, with everyone there listening to one another. As I sat and was minding my own business, that’s how this man looked for my trouble. ‘madam, don’t you think your dress is so tight? we are not selling figures here but brains. Oops! that took me off guard but I smiled and looked at him, gave him a stern look and said, when next you are fishing for brains, please ask for the right size. I gave him that reply and focused. He was indeed embarrassed, I didn’t care. He started it. After a while, I was called in to give my first pitch. It went well and then we were all called into the room for the second stage.

As I stood up to give my own pitch when it got to my turn, a woman who’s part of this present panellists but wasn’t in the first one made a cynical statement… Miss Miriam, we hope you aren’t just here for the show. This your dress is all curvy. I smiled, calmed down and gave her my response. Wait, you thought I wouldn’t… Forget the fact that I am here bidding for a million-dollar contract, they opened the link up to me. They had seen what I had done earlier, so, please I am an authority in my space. I looked straight into her eyes and told her ‘With all due respect ma, If I didn’t mean business, I wouldn’t get into this stage and moreover, my dress is on my body,   not yours’ after starting my pitch with that clap back, I delved into it. I made all of them speechless, I gave it a 100 per cent that even the woman with the cynical statement and the man with the misplaced brain gave me a standing ovation. After the ‘show’ of pitch and all of that, we were told that they will get back to us via mails/calls and even though I could bet my life on what I delivered but at the same time, I didn’t want to pass as being too confident so I prayed. Indeed, I believe in God’s strength alone and I told him to favour me. Lo and behold, I got called.

   ‘Miss Miriam, we would like for you to come to our office at 10 am’   Ladies and gentlemen, I got there before 10 am.  When it was time for my meeting, I sat amongst the mighty men in the organisation and one of the men, who’s kinda disrespectful said… ‘This business is huge, the money is very huge and looking through your profile now, I saw that you are unmarried, can you handle such?’ I staggered back a bit. Wait, so being unmarried means I don’t have sense, I cannot handle money, I need a man to supervise my money drills. Like seriously? I smiled and gave him my response… Excuse me, sir, I got here not because of my marital status but because I am a smart, grown, intelligent woman, one who has honed her craft. This is why I got here and the reason why I am still climbing. The other men clapped at my response and the CEO told me to sign the contract, he was impressed. The man who asked the question looked angry but that is none of my headache Fam. The idea is to stay in your lane and be blessed or move out of your lane and face the consequences of that.

Dear Single Ladies,  those people with little brains, surely they shall gather

Those people who think that marriage alone is the key to your happiness, surely they shall gather

Those people who just want to poke their noses into your business, surely they shall gather

Those who think they have every right to look down on you for being older, single… They shall gather

Those who will call you bitter for being competent at what you do, surely they shall gather… 

But when they gather, send them back to their father’s house to pick up manners! 

See you next week.