To everything there is a season

There is no wisdom here today

Please leave now

I have no words of encouragement

I am in dire need myself

If you are here for words to inspire

I am sorry there is no desire

Should you choose to stay I thank you

I wish I could sing of her beauty, her grace, her smile

Alas, I can’t sing

I wish I could draw the dimples on her pretty face

I do not know how

What if I could paint the many colours of her sweetness?

I do not paint

If I could carve her name on all the trees around I would

But I will not get it right

My head hurts and my heart aches

I think of the things I could say

Should say

I just can’t say them, she can’t hear me

I wish I could dance to the rhythm of the music she loves

My feet are too sad

This is a time to mourn and not a time to dance

Perhaps I should clap as loud as I can

She will not hear me and besides,

My hands are trembling

So what can I do?

I can tell the story of a friend, sister, mother, wife, daughter

I can share many stories of a kind, warm, generous soul

I can write about her courage, her bravery, her determination

I can name the many trials and tribulations she faced

I can tell of her long, final battle that has just drawn to an end

I can recall our many long telephone conversations

About life, politics, business, children, death, love

I have many things to say about a woman who faced her worst fears

and never gave up on her best dreams

But my throat hurts

I wish I could write about the friends, brothers and sisters lost

Those who I see only in my dreams

Those whose voices I will never forget

Alas, my fingers are numb

I can’t sing, paint, draw, carve, dance, write, or talk today

So I will pray

That the soul of my beloved sister and friend will rest in perfect peace

That God Almighty will comfort her children

That we her friends will find solace in our fond memories of her

That her legacy of love, faith and service will endure

That we will all learn to find the true meaning of life

It lies not in cash – my friend did not lack

It lies not in trinkets– she had loads

It lies not in garments – she had them aplenty

It lies not in mansions – she had those too

It lies in how much love we give

How much joy we share

How many lives we touch

How much peace we find

How many people smile as they think of us

There are days when I sing out loud, can dance, can write, can tell stories

Days when my heart does not ache and my throat does not hurt

Here is what I found out

Those days are many

Too many to count

Then death comes calling and steals away our joy

Seasons change and gathered stones are scattered

What has been mended is torn

What has been built is pulled down

What we have found is lost

May our days of joy far exceed our days of sadness

May our seasons of gloom never outnumber our times of happiness

Rest in peace my dear sister

My head hurts, my heart aches

My hands are trembling and my feet are sad.

We will meet again

And then it will be a time to laugh

And a time to dance.

 

Olanike Remilekun Disu passed away in Lagos on September 4^th after a long battle with breast cancer. She is survived by two children. She was 55 years old.

 

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Social Entrepreneur and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com