1. Strong women empower other women

I love the idea of elevating women, because we’re still trying to reach equality, but we aren’t there yet. If we can show all these amazing things that women can do, it gives other women and girls role models to look up to and think, I could be like that entertainer or lawyer or entrepreneur or mom who chooses to stay home. It changes their aspirations of who they can be.

2. We all need (and need to be) role models

I had some amazing teachers, like Mrs. Bauer in high school. She brought computers into the school when most schools didn’t even know what they were. She was also raising three boys and getting her Ph.D. She was an amazing mom and gave me confidence in math and computer science.

3. Tell girls they can change the world

If you’re in tech, you’re creating the future. We know girls lose their confidence in math in middle school, and that’s the time they ought to be bolstered. Surround them with role models who will help them keep their confidence up. Only 18% of computer science graduates are women. We have to get more in tech.

4. Treat life as a learning journey

Get involved in your community or the broader world. Ask questions: Are we truly equal in my community? How are women faring? Because poverty is sexist. Women suffer disproportionately in poverty across the world. So ask questions…learn where your passion is and where your passion and talent meet the world’s needs. If you keep asking questions, you’ll figure out where those two pieces intersect and give back in a way that’s right for you.

5. Walk and talk

Three women and I walk every single Monday we’re in town, rain or shine. I know a lot about their kids, their husbands and their lives — and vice versa. I do not know what I would do without that walking group, quite frankly.

6. Take 10 to de-stress

I love the Headspace meditation app; it’s 10 minutes a day — 10 minutes? I can do 10 minutes! I also have a paced-breathing application on my phone… I know some people have reminders on their watches to stop and breathe. You do deep breathing with your phone once or twice, and it settles down your whole nervous system.

7. “Kindness is like a stone pond.”

When you throw in a stone, the ripples go farther and farther and sometimes you don’t know what shore they reach on the other side. If you’re kind to somebody, you have no idea how it may change him or her…reach out to a stranger. Maybe that person is older than you or younger than you, maybe he or she has a different skin color than you, but just make his or her day a little happier, and you’ll be amazed at the change in you.

8. Redefine failure as a teaching moment

We had failures all the time at Microsoft, but the way I see it, failures are things you learn from. You have to be willing to pick yourself up and go on. That’s what I love about sports: For young girls, you want to keep their confidence up, have them play a team sport, because guess what? You step out of bounds, and the game goes on three seconds later.

9. Try to prevent regrets

I think the only regrets [for me] are when someone passes away and I didn’t get to spend as much time with them as I would have liked. I have a few regrets in that category, so I’m very purposeful now about taking time to see people who mean a lot to me.

10. Always be yourself

The more you can be authentic, the happier you’re going to be, and life will work itself around that. I wish I’d learned that when I was younger, and earlier in my career. Another motto is, “There are no ‘shoulds’ in life.” Sometimes society says we need to be a certain type of working woman or a certain type of mom or partner, [but] we define those things ourselves. We can never live in the past. We can only live where we are today.

She’s a mother of three who co-chairs a multibillion-dollar foundation and a former Microsoft exec who is urgently working to bring more girls into the boys’ club of tech. In other words, she’s awesome — and the perfect guest editor for our special issue celebrating Awesome Women. Melinda is also a huge believer in the Good Housekeeping philosophy that kindness is key to lifting us all to happier lives. Here, Melinda Gates shares how having a heart can make all the difference to women today and to the women of tomorrow.