So how do we get out of this self-destructive trap? How do we break the cycle? Ultimately, we embrace our identity as children of God, wholly accepted and loved. But how do we get to that place?

First, we have to recognize that it’s not an overnight cure or a magical mental shift. Instead, change comes from intentionally cultivating holy habits that fight the lure of comparison.

Here are seven of these holy habits to pursue:

1. Feast on gospel-truth.

Get in God’s Word and marinate your mind in gospel-truth. Read and reflect on and apply what you read. Get your strength and sustenance for each day from this living, active book.

2. Look for your comparison, and confess it.

Start intentionally looking for what triggers your comparison. Are there regular rhythms or moments when you struggle with it? Identify them, notice them, and repent of them. Recognize comparison for the sin it is, and run from it.

3. Surround yourself with humble teachers.

Listen to the people who are not marked by insecurity, comparison, and envy. Take counsel from the humble. Surround yourself with those who are generous and big-hearted and who love others deeply.

4. Read books that challenge your self-focus.

As I’ve struggled with my tendency to compare myself to others, two books (after the Word of God) have hugely helped me. The first is New Morning Mercies, a daily gospel devotional by Paul Tripp, and the second is The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Tim Keller.

Both of these books recognize that we humans have a self-focus problem and seek to reorient our perspectives by giving us practical (and kind) help in pursuing humility.

5. Train yourself to love better.

Instead of using people as measuring sticks against yourself, take steps to treat them as image-bearing individuals. Serve them. Pray for them. Do good to them. Encourage them. Give to them. Sacrifice for them. And see your attitude toward them change.

6. Cultivate gratitude.

We compare ourselves because we are discontent. Fight comparison by nurturing daily thankfulness. Start noticing small mercies. Include specific times of gratitude in your prayer time. Pay attention to all the ways God is showing his grace to you.

7. Remind yourself of your identity in Christ

In other words, preach the gospel of acceptance in Christ to yourself. You are fully known and fully loved by your Creator God, and nothing can change that. As you seek to combat comparison, rejoice in the gospel. This is the only thing that has the power to break the chains of jealousy, pride, shame, and self-focus, and free us to live satisfied, content, and happy in Jesus.