I have grown to dread the month of January. It started with the January of 2003. I had been looking forward to that year, it was supposed to have been a special one, the year I turned forty. On January 4th 2003, I was in London. I checked my email at approximately 11.45pm, there was a message from my younger sister Bunmi in Lagos. It read Daddy-Urgent.
I had seen that message before. In March 2002, I was in Zurich attending a meeting. I opened my email around midnight, and there was a message from my sister. Daddy-Urgent . Our father had suffered a stroke, and was in a critical condition. I collapsed in the arms of my friend Zeedah in Zurich, crying over and over again, `God please let him wait for me, I want to say goodbye’.
I rushed back to Lagos to find him at death’s door. I had never seen my father so ill. I held him. We cried. I prayed. I said goodbye just in case he had to go. He didn’t go then. He survived the stroke. He got better. Even though the stroke left him with some mild brain damage, he got stronger, and save for the occasional memory lapses, we had our father back. On December 22nd 2002, we celebrated his 70th birthday. His birthday was in June, but we postponed the party till he was much better. It was a nice celebration, short, simple and moving. During the birthday celebrations, I noticed that he was rather excitable and his memory lapses were more frequent. He kept introducing us his children to our first cousins who we had grown up with. I left Lagos for London at the end of December. I told my sister and brother-in-law to keep an eye on him.
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Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Social Entrepreneur and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com
8 Responses
This is so torching. Losing a beloved in such a manner. God knows the best. May his gentle soul continue to rest in God’s bossom. Taking the decision of not staying back in the room is the best ma. Because it can’t bring him back.
I can know the way you feel ma. Can’t withstand the pain when I lost mine too. Losing a love ones is not a funny experience. May the soul of our past beloved rest in the Lord. Life continues. All we need to do is to leave out the best life so that the world can remember us for the Good.
Oh my!! This is so touching and painful.I can’t even imagine the pain you went through but i am glad you are still standing strong and for you to share your story makes you an incredible woman. I pray may God continually be your strength, power and joy as you add another year your age today. God bless you for being a blessing. Amen.
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Reading this I try to imagine how it must have felt to lose a father that way and even the imagination is beyond me. May God continue to strengthen you ma’am and may old wounds heal in 2017. Happy new year
I think it’s great that you’re choosing to be happy on such a day despite the magnanimity of what had happened. I’m sure he’d want you to be happy regardless of all the unknowns. We will continue to celebrate such a great man and hope to see him again someday. Happy new year ma’am.
oh really touching. I know what it means to loss a love one not to talk of a father. just understand it’s the past.
Oh my my….. The pain of losing someone special is so sad and losing him in this way is just the saddest. May his perfect soul rest in peace. Sorry for ur lose ma and thanks be to God for how strong you’v been over the years. May the Good Lord continually give you the strength and courage to keep moving….. All is well with you and your family ma. Afflictions will not arise again the second time ijn….