It’s no secret that marriage takes a lot of work. Putting someone’s needs before your own and constantly worrying about his or her physical, emotional and mental health can be quite exhausting, but you knew it would be and prepared yourself for it.

As the days, months, and years have gone by, you have gotten into a routine and believe that you are now successful when it comes to most everything marriage. Although you would describe your marriage as ‘healthy,’ are there some things that you could do to make it stronger? Here are 12 important things in a marriage that people often overlook:

1. Limit the time spent without your spouse

When you first got married, you never wanted to spend a minute away from each other. But now, it has gotten so easy that you find yourself spending more time with your friends than your spouse. Take your spouse with you the next time your friends want to go out.

2. Cherish each other

When was the last time you held your spouse close and thought about what your life would be like without him? Despite his flaws, you love him. Cherish him.

3. You are your own person

Remember that you have personal talents that need developing as well. Even if you are focused on working on your marriage, it will never satisfy you unless you are happy with yourself.

4. Your husband should be your best friend

Naturally men do not like gossip. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in how your day was. Be sure that you are talking to him when you are happy, sad, frustrated, mad, anxious etc. and not just to your girlfriends.

5. There is no perfect marriage

Your idea of a perfect marriage is different than even your spouse’s. Understanding this can help you realize that you have to work together with your spouse to create a relationship that you have both dreamed of together.

6. Let him talk too

Who has been making the decisions lately? Life isn’t necessarily going to allow a 50/50 split between every decision you must make, but that is something to embrace! Be sure that your man can be a leader and a follower, not just always one or the other.

7. He doesn’t know you more than you know yourself

When you find yourself thinking, “He should know why I am so upset” is a dangerous thought. Your marriage will not succeed if you are not actively listening and communicating your feelings to one another. Forget this ‘he should know’ attitude and tell it to him straight.

8. The power of service

Since you have been together for such a long time, you have likely neglected the power of service in each other’s lives. When you lighten the load from your spouse, it shows a deeper level of love and care towards them. It is also received as a physical way of expressing the special phrase, “I love you.”

9. Compliments

Words have a special power: they can build up and destroy people in a matter of seconds. Don’t neglect to give your spouse a compliment just because they already know you find them attractive. Tell them again, and again, and again, and again.

10. Say “I love you” as much as possible

Don’t forget the power of ‘I love you.’ Say it and mean it every day- multiple times a day.

11. Say thank you

Your husband has done a lot for you over the years and deserves to be told thank you every once in a while. Say it through words and actions to really remind him of your gratitude.

12. Smile before bed

Be sure to end the day with a smile on your face so he knows you are happy with your life and with your relationship with him. A smile can go a long way.