Sometimes you look for a partner with certain qualities that you probably lack yourself and that is perfectly fine but to find a healthy kind of love that has the potential to grow and last, you often have to embody the same qualities you’re looking for in someone else.

If you want stable love, you have to be stable yourself.

You have to know what you want from life even if you’re not there, you have to understand what you want out of a relationship even if you’ve never been in one and you have to be consistent with the love you give to others to receive consistency from those who love you.

If you want a passionate love, you need to have a passionate life.

You have to be passionate about your life, your work, your friends and you have to put your heart into everything you do. You have to love others  fiercely and fearlessly to receive that kind of love. You shouldn’t be afraid of saying too much or feeling too much or being the one who cares more. Let your passion attract people who are equally passionate — if not more.

If you want real love, you have to be real with yourself.

You have to be true to yourself and what you want, what you can offer and what you can’t, what your faults are and how you are working on them and you have to be real about why you want to be in a relationship; is it because you’re lonely or is it because you are emotionally ready and available to love someone and let them love you.

If you want kind love, you have to be kind to yourself.

You have to forgive yourself for your mistakes, you have to let go of past failures and past slip-ups. You have to be kind with your heart and kind with your thoughts and you have to be kind to others, you have to spread kindness like confetti so it can find its way back to you.

If you want deep love, you have to find your own depth.

You have to understand what moves you, what inspires you and what consumes you when you’re quiet. You have to add depth into anything you do; your conversations, your work, your thoughts and your actions. You have to look through people and you have to look beyond the formalities and the masks they wear. You have to be able to love someone deeply with all their scars and their secrets and the stories they’re afraid to share with the world so they can do the same for you.

If you want someone to be madly in love with you, you have to be madly in love with yourself.

You have to understand the qualities that make you unique and the traits that make you special, the love you’re capable of giving someone without compromising who you are and how much you value yourself against everyone around you. When you value yourself, you will not let others get away with mistreating you and when you love yourself enough, you will not accept someone who doesn’t love you just as much.

The love you get mirrors how you really feel about yourself; if you try to embody the qualities that you are looking for in a partner, you will eventually attract someone who is willing to give you exactly what you want.