How to Develop Strong Leadership Skills in Your Children

God has entrusted each of us as men, husbands, and dads, and women, wives, and moms to be the leaders in our homes. Our homes belong to him as they are a part of his kingdom.

As men, He has appointed us to protect his kingdom. God’s word tells us in Joshua 24:15, “And if you be unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve…, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

As men, we represent the door into our homes. We have been entrusted with the God-given leadership role as protectors—we stand in front of our spouses and children. It is our job to know who and what is entering through the front door of our homes and the front doors of our kid’s hearts.

Women and moms also have a God-given leadership role within the home and family. Your home is your domain. God has entrusted you with making good rules and setting strong standards in your home. Your kids are subject to your authority and to obeying and respecting your rules. It’s Dad’s job to back you up. You are on the same team and not competitors.

As the leader in your home, there are 3 important things you must do to raise your children to be strong leaders.

1. Do not outsource the parenting of your kids to anyone else. Your children are gifts from God. Our kids are not our possessions, they belong to God. He has entrusted “us” with the love and care of his children and given us the privilege of loving and parenting them. When our homes are falling apart it is because they exist in the absence of surrender. God must be the head of our homes and king of our hearts. We parent through his guidance and direction. As we demonstrate to our kids our surrender to God’s authority, and our trust in his guiding power in our lives, they in turn understand and learn how to respect authority and put their trust in God. Be present in your kid’s lives and show them how to love God’s word.

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

2. Never isolate yourselves from your kid’s lives in the name of “respecting their privacy.” The way kids learn respect is through understanding the value of set boundaries. Before you enter their personal space, knock. This said, you own their personal space, so it is your business to be aware of what is going on in their personal space. If you abdicate your role as a parent to avoid conflict with your kids, your kids will pay the price for your avoidance of responsibility. Children learn more by what they see their parents do than they do from what they hear their parents say.

“For nothing is hidden that will not be revealed, and nothing concealed that will not be made known and brought to light.” (Luke 8:1)

3. Pray for your children. One of the greatest honors God gives us is the opportunity to bring our children and their needs before him through prayer. My girls are both preteens. And, this year I have learned—Junior High is still challenging! It is a difficult time for our kids and for us, as their parents, as well. There are so many evil things vying for our kids hearts. Much more so than when we were their age. We must pray for our kids. The saying is true: “The best position to be in when raising children is on your knees.” God will give you everything you need to stay the course in raising wonderful children who will grow up to be tomorrow’s leaders. Neither the road nor the people walking it will be perfect however; the will of God will never lead you where the grace of God will not keep you. His strength is perfect when our strength as parents is gone. Pray for your children.

“Rise during the night and cry out. Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord. Lift up your hands to him in prayer, pleading for your children.” (Lam. 2:19)

The truth is; we don’t, and our kids won’t, just stumble into good things in life. Everything we have is a blessing from God. Our kids need to see God lived out, walked out, and talked out in our everyday lives. While leadership skills can be taught and learned, a leadership heart is grown through faith in and a relationship with God. Great leaders had great role models. You are a role model for your kids; make the moments and opportunities count. Every day you have the opportunity to show your kids Jesus and to build a strong foundation of faith under their feet.