An Engagement Ring Is Not Enough

By Honey Olorunsola

Self Love Flower

It’s every woman’s dream to be engaged and eventually get married to their “LOML” (love of my life), how sweet! I hope you understand and remember something very crucially important; it’s not all about the engagement ring.

Getting engaged is not ultimately enough, in fact, it doesn’t guarantee a talk of the town wedding, talk more of a happy or fulfilling marriage. There has been news about couples calling off their engagement a week to the wedding and even a day to the wedding, engagements are sweet and beautiful but there is something we all have to understand before making the decision.

I’m not here to actually encourage divorce or couples calling off their engagements, but rather to let you know some things before you rush yourself or get rushed into marriage. We’ve heard some of these things over and over, even seen them in movies and also seen it happen to some of our favourite celebrities but even at that, a lot of us have refused to follow them. In case you’re not aware, the rate at which couples are filing for divorce is on the high rise including newly wedded couples, take a short trip to the nearest court and see how people file in by twos in hundreds seeking a divorce.

Sometimes, I hear about a couple and I’m like “WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR ‘AWWWWNNN’ MOMENTS?” It obviously proves that love is not enough to guarantee a successful marriage.

I’ll like to ask a few questions for you to reason on before I go in deep, Are you actually friends with your partner? Do you guys discuss real-life issues? Do both of you share the same beliefs? What do you people always do each time you’re together or even discuss? Is it just cuddling, making the whole room ‘lovey-dovey’, deep hugs, kissing and just having sex? ORDINARY SEX!

Sex is a topic for another day but here is my point; before a guy proposes to you as a lady, and before you say “Yes, I Do”, please discuss issues like these ones;

  • Number of kids
  • Finances
  • Religious beliefs
  • Your goals and ambitions
  • Blood group, genotype and health status
  • Kind of food you both eat, amongst other things.

As simple and funny as these are, they can actually create huge problems in the near or distant future.

Are you an everyday night vigil type of person? If yes, then you have no business with someone that attends Sunday service whenever he or she feels like. No, don’t think he or she would change because they don’t and they won’t or better still, it takes grace for them to change. Do you love wearing makeup and you’re with someone that loves and appreciate natural beauty? It is well. If you continue pushing and patching the relationship up until marriage, then it’s highly possible that the marriage might be full of back to back arguments.

My point is this, so as to avoid stories that touch the heart, and maybe even trending social media headlines, be very sure of who you’re with. It’s totally understandable and fine if you don’t agree on everything but you MUST find a middle point for everything. Love is important but communication and understanding your partner is a lot “importanter”.

If you’re in an abusive relationship or you notice that there might be potential abuse in your relationship, by abuse, I mean emotional, physical or even financial, please it’s not too late to quit the relationship. Don’t say you’re praying for the partner to change because that change might never come. Its better you’re with someone that will give you peace of mind, and lets you still be you in the marriage and by you, I don’t mean exhibiting bad attitudes or acting wrongly all in the name of “that’s who I am”.

A peaceful and happy marriage can only happen when you’re married to your partner, soul mate, friend and lover. I wish you well in your relationships and marriages.

I hope you gained understanding reading this, share your experience with me below in the comment section.

Source: Above Whispers

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