In Her 30s – Body Shaming And Status Shaming

By Onozasie

‘In her 30s’  This is the place where I share my daily ordeal with y’all on a weekly basis. I try to talk to you cos I feel y’all can relate with me or will be able to relate with me.

You are welcome! Let me formally introduce myself; My name is Miriam. I am an event planner, content editor and a jolly good fellow. I am not married but I am in my 30’s and being the only female in the family, my parents want me to get settled. ‘Money doesn’t solve companionship’ in their words.  Before y’all come for me and think that my own is too much ehn, see, I am a very reserved babe o but this our African setting makes it easy for some people to want to pry into your business and they have no guts to do so.

 

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Yes! Miriam is back

‘what is wrong with you, you are fat for nothing, your boobs are too big. Your head is so small. How come you are so tiny? you are just too thin for my liking’  have you used such words on people or have you heard such words before? Here we go! the body-shaming culture. I find it difficult to comprehend when people see the physique of others and the first thing that comes to their head is the thought to body shame them. Some of you hide in the guise of ‘wanting to know what’s up’ what do I mean by that? Let me explain it to you. So, here you go, you haven’t seen ‘Tonye’ in a while and for the first time in two months, you met Tonye in the supermarket and the first thing you thought to say was ‘ Tonye, wow. You are now fat o’ can you please just shut up! What happened to ‘Good afternoon, how are you? it’s been a while’  what is the meaning of ‘you are now fat’ and if she is, what is your business? People who body shame other people have insecurities that they are battling with. Some people are just nosy. Some people are just annoying and some people are just human pests! Let people be and you too, stop it. If you intend to fight with anyone, fight your fight but do not use their looks as your bullet point. No! it is ‘trashy’! If you must talk about the way someone looks, it must be good. It must be nice and it must be from a pure heart and even if you are bothered, human beings know when their tone is that of worry, so we know… pass the message in the right tone.

Let me also drive home another point, Status Shaming!

It is because you are not married, that is why you don’t understand what is happening with me. If you were married to a husband, you will get it. Can you stop being stupid? I have come across a lot of people who do that and they think they are making sense, they think they are trying to make their situations known. There are better ways to talk about the ‘trials’ of being a married woman than using someone’s unmarried status as a selling point. That is not classy. Oh, I have been busy with the kids, I am sorry. this is more classy than the first one and a lot of married people are guilty. They make single people look very stupid for being unmarried. Madam, we thank God that you are married okay, but face your front and concentrate on what is important to your life as the single ones do the same. If anyone says that to you as a single lady, please don’t hesitate to give them a bitter pill to swallow and educate them on the need to have their senses checked before opening their mouths. Miriammm….. Don’t Miriam me.  I am tired of adults not being adults. If you are an adult, act like one and the only way to act like one is to have common sense and relational skills. You should in no manner of conversation shame anyone except the person is an abuser.

Let’s stop body shaming or status shaming people, it is not classy.

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