In Her 30’s : The Woman Is Not Ready

By Onozasi

‘In her 30s’  This is the place where I share my daily ordeal with y’all on a weekly basis. I try to talk to you cos I feel y’all can relate with me or will be able to relate with me.

You are welcome! Let me formally introduce myself; My name is Miriam. I am an event planner, content editor and a jolly good fellow. I am not married but I am in my 30’s and being the only female in the family, my parents want me to get settled. ‘Money doesn’t solve companionship’ in their words.  Before y’all come for me and think that my own is too much ehn, see, I am a very reserved babe o but this our African setting makes it easy for some people to want to pry into your business and they have no guts to do so.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s get this straight, I have time. Yes. don’t Miriam me, I have time to call out the bluff of foolish people. I have time to address nonsense comments. I have plenty of time, thanks to COVID.  This is the point where you ask, Miriam, what happened? I have been trying to create and recreate my platforms and attend to some pending issues and all of that, we all are looking for new ways to make money. So, you can see that I haven’t been idle, I have been busy but at the same time, if anyone comes for me, I will show them pepper. As a member of this place, you already know this. Let me give you the full gist.

I had just finished a session of a zoom class and was about getting to take my tea when my phone rang. I picked up the phone to check, only to see that it’s an old friend calling me. It’s been a while we spoke so I was looking forward to catching up. Hello Miriam, how are you?  It’s been ages ooo. You forgot me. That’s the first thing I noticed that pulled me off but I tried to look past it. I hate it when people use lines like that… ‘you have no right to accuse anyone of anything, it is either you want to call to check up or leave it at that’ I am not being harsh but it is the place of courtesy.  So I responded, Abi o, everyone forgot themselves. God help us, the world is crazy.


Hey, don’t look at me like that cos I can see you. Over to the convo… We started to gist and then she went ‘ Miriam, I see all that you are doing o, you are doing great’ Thank you. I am happy that people are supporting you and you are making an impact. Thank you, I said again. Hold on, When very old folks call you to start giving kudos, don’t be too carried away. There’s every tendency that they are setting a trap for you. They are about to take the sit off your buttocks. Thank you ooo. God bless you, I said. ‘So, Miriam, when are you getting married now? we are age mates o and I have three kids already’… Jeez! My head literally flipped. I hate it when people go about saying rubbish and confidently pushing others down. So, I gave her a piece of my mind… ‘so, wait, married with three kids is what exactly? I will like to know… Ah, Miriam, she said. Don’t ‘ah’ me. I want to get to understand what you are trying to say… I am not married, yes, I am not married with the whole of my chest because I am not ready to be married. So, what message are you trying to pass? Please, explain to me. Trust me, I didn’t shout as I gave her back to back, I was so calm that my calmness shocked her to the extent that she became speechless.  ‘Ah, Miriam, I didn’t mean it that way o. I was just concerned.’ what exactly are you concerned about? I don’t get it? You are concerned for me? I didn’t come to you wailing about anything so why should it be a pain for you?  I am very sorry Miriam, it’s good to catch up once again… Thank you, my regards to your kids and husband. 


Now… this was what she expected… ‘ what’s going on?  I am married with two kids now and you are not? and then I go about saying I am praying, men are this and that and then she starts a pity party that we didn’t negotiate for. Listen, single men and ladies, I will put this to you… You should not tolerate passive insults in the name of concerns. Anyone who has sense, who is exposed should understand how to pass a sensitive message.  I have had different encounters and I have come to the conclusion that if you want to be stupid, I will show you exposure. There’s this day someone somewhere was talking about marriage and I said I wasn’t ready to get married… It became a big deal. Why? If a woman is in a relationship, she is not the one to determine if she is ready for marriage or not… Oh lawd! spare me. The woman shouldn’t have a say in marriage? once the man is ready, she is ready, right? isn’t that slavery? Isn’t marriage supposed to be a mutual agreement? I always tell people, money isn’t the only pointer to marriage. There is the mental capacity which is the most important thing and if the woman even decides that she wants to make her money before settling down, she has every right to. This is the period where women should be allowed to live life on their own terms. Don’t feel low about yourself. You want more and that is a good thing to demand for. Demand for more. Settle for nothing less than that and fly. The sky is your space. It is limitless.

To those who go about poke nosing anyhow… the earlier you mind your business, the better for you.



Source: Above Whispers

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