Sometimes Expectations In A Relationship Can Cause Problems

When you’re learning how to manage expectations in a relationship, you must demonstrate appreciation for your partner every day. Instead of focusing on the negative, make a point to value your partner’s positive qualities. This will take you much further in your relationship. They may not have folded the towels the way you wanted them to, but at least they tried to do their fair share by putting the laundry away. And maybe they did the dishes after dinner or took the dog for a walk because you had a long day at work. If you pay attention, there’s always something to be appreciative about. What was it that attracted you to them in the first place? It wasn’t their towel-folding abilities – it was their warmth, kindness and love for life.

“Turn your expectations into appreciation and your whole life will change.” – Tony Robbins

That sentiment can apply to anything in life, but if we apply that same thought to our relationships, appreciation can be the trigger that puts an end to your unhealthy expectations in a relationship.



Compassion is at the top of the list of what to expect in a relationship. To successfully navigate any relationship, you want to demonstrate compassion by prioritizing your love over your expectations. As important as it is to learn how to manage expectations in a relationship, remember that expectations are there to facilitate warmth. At the end of the day, it’s your partnership that’s most important.


Respect is the basis of any relationship, romantic or otherwise. To show respect means to value the other person’s perspective and needs – this is the basis of effective communication. To show respect for your partner, never correct them! Instead, try to find a playful, empathetic way to redirect an argument. From there, you’re able to find solutions without creating unnecessary tension.


Healthy relationships hinge on consideration – for your partner, their interests and their relationship expectations. To show consideration, you must make a point to value your relationship over your relationship rules. This is a real stickler when it comes to what to expect in a relationship since it’s easy to view the “rules” as the basis of your partnership. But when you value your partner over your rules, this paves the way for fulfilling both people’s expectations.


Devoting time to your partner is one of the fundamental expectations in a relationship. Don’t let your partnership become a side note – take the time to reinforce your connection. When you create rituals and traditions that cement your sense of connection, you demonstrate that your relationship is a real priority.


When it comes to learning how to manage expectations in a relationship, one of the worst missteps you can make is questioning your partner’s intent. When you question the very nature of your relationship, it corrodes trust, which takes a toll on even the strongest partnerships. Just because you’re having issues doesn’t mean the relationship itself is a problem.


If you’re in an argumentative pattern with your partner, change your approach. If you don’t, you risk creating a circular loop where neither party is heard, leaving both feelings defeated. Take the high road and bow out of an argument. Take a break to regroup and consider what you’re really arguing about. When you make this a habit, you set a high standard for what to expect in a relationship with your partner.


One of the primary expectations in a relationship is that there will be give and take and mutual dialogue. Threatening your relationship with ultimatums doesn’t help anything since it shuts down communication. If you’re at the point of threatening your partnership, it’s time to take a break and rethink the conversation.


Learning how to manage expectations in a relationship is not a one-time deal. It’s a continuous conversation where you’re touching base to see whether each other’s needs are being met. Don’t settle for stagnation, assuming your relationship is doing fine because you haven’t argued that day. When you commit to never-ending improvement, you’re able to build an extraordinary relationship.


As tempting as it is to look for “textbook” expectations in a relationship as a template for your own, this approach doesn’t work. It ignores your unique personality and needs (and those of your partner) without valuing what makes your partnership unique and special. Don’t adopt other couples’ expectations in a relationship – work with your partner to develop your own.


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