Hurdles Of A Single Lady – The ‘Perfect’ Wife Material

By Onozasi

As a young woman, it is very disturbing that your worth sometimes is not seen until you do some kinda jobs. This dating scene is hard and it is getting harder because of this unnecessary wife material cage. I am going to be speaking on behalf of those women who haven’t found the man of their dreams because they do not conform to norms. Let me explain this, I know a woman should be able to tidy things up as a man should too, she should be able to take care of the home, her family and whatever it is but, it is annoying when the first thing they want to see is the act of it not what you have in your heart. I have heard stories about how some men would ask if you love to cook, if you don’t microwave food, if you believe in fresh food, if you can do this and do that because all of these attributes qualify you to be the perfect woman. Who says?  Listen, I belong to the category of women who do not find those functions exciting but it doesn’t mean that I cannot do them. I am not that go-to woman when it comes to things like this so if you feel the first thing you want to see is how I cook, wash my clothes and manage the house, you will have to stay around for a while because the first thing you will see me do is take my laptop, type something, create content, talk  about how my world will be changed, talk about the different things that I can do to be better, how I will teach my household to be greater peeps of impact, then maybe buy or order a meal when I am tired and hungry, take a drink and sleep. Another day, for the kitchen.  A friend of mine told me about how she wanted to go see her boyfriend at their family house and uncle started the rules and regulations prior to the meeting. When you see my uncle, kneel and greet him, kneel and greet this and that,  Go to the kitchen to wash the plates, stay in the kitchen as they cook, sometimes, take the food and cook and sweep the floor and fetch some water. You need to do this so they will call you a good girl and a good wife-to-be. I was amazed. She did do all of that but she wasn’t happy she did them. Why? She said she felt she had to portray some kinda traits to be accepted into the family and this is uncalled for.


Let me share another story. So, another young lady, told me about going to visit her fiance’s family, the guy didn’t give her rules though but she knew what she should and shouldn’t do. When she got there, she greeted the right way and sat down but something happened, some of the women were in the kitchen and she felt the kitchen was too crowded, so she stayed back only for one of women to come and say, she shouldn’t be sitting down, she of all people should be the one cooking in the kitchen and she wondered why she would utter such a statement. She stood up, went to the kitchen and stayed till they were done. She got so fagged out after that  so she went to her fiance’s room to sleep after the whole thing. All of a sudden, a woman knocked on the door, she opened up and she was told to come out, she told them she needed to sleep and this woman said, Are you sure you want to marry our son with this laziness you have inside of you? What an approval. As she uttered this statement, her fiance came in and she told him all that happened. I think I have to go home and think about us because I cannot exhaust myself for your family’s approval. I need to think. This is who I am, this is who I will always be, I cannot kill myself.

What do I think?

It is simple.Do what is worth your time and energy. I cannot be all up and about because I need the approval of anyone. I will be me, do my thing whether I fit into the wife material cage is none of your business. Let me educate young women, A man who will marry you will marry you, you don’t need to wash his clothes or his mother’s or father’s clothes. You can learn to be better or do more but don’t be pressured by anyone. I don’t know how you want your wife or intending daughter in-law to be, but I will be the version of me. After all, the man is allowed to be himself in my home why can’t I be myself in his home? The fact that as a young woman they ring the husband’s house mantra on us, make us prepare for the unprepared man and when the time comes, you don’t only satisfy the man, you have to satisfy his household.

The gist, no matter how much you satisfy them, there is always one sister, brother, uncle, aunt that will still say you haven’t done enough. So, what’s the stress all about?

Source: Above Whispers

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