FEMINISM 101: Ten Myths About Feminists

Sincere apologies for not being able to write this week. I have been preoccupied with some tasks lately, which has made time for reflection rather difficult to find. Don’t worry, I won’t stop writing every week! Last week, I came across an interview given by a woman aspiring for the Presidency of Nigeria. I admire her courage, but was taken aback at her statement that she is not a Feminist. That would not have bothered me if not for the fact that when she stated why she was not a Feminist, it was clear to me that she needed time to read, reflect and engage with African feminists. A feminist analysis should provide a framework for any conversation about social change or inclusive democracy, particularly if the said champion is a woman.  I am hereby recycling Feminism 101.

I gave a talk at a forum organized recently to address women’s rights issues in Nigeria. After my presentation, a woman walked up to me to thank me for my presentation which she said she enjoyed, and then said, ‘Listening to you, one would think that you are a Feminist’. I stared at her in confusion. I managed to muster a response after a few seconds, ‘I am a Feminist’ I told her. Now it was her turn to look confused. At that point, I pulled away from her to attend to someone else, grateful that I was spared the need to do a Feminism 101.

Soon after that incident, I was at a seminar for professional women. All the participants present were women across generations, many of whom had done a fine job of carving a niche for themselves in the brutal worlds of business and politics. The Compere for the day was providing some context for the event, and then she said, ‘We are not talking about Feminism, we are talking about women’s rights’. I almost fell off my chair. I looked around to see if there were any kindred spirits around. I found one, a sister I have worked with in the feminist movement for years. We shared a look and a slight smile. Feminism 101 required again.

I fully understand why most people are afraid, mystified, misinformed or uninformed about the word Feminism. I am not going to turn this into an academic essay about the global history of Feminism, the various ‘schools’ and ‘waves’,  and its place in the firmament of social change ideologies. Remember, it is Feminism 101. What I am going to do is name a couple of myths that people have bandied about over the years about Feminism and Feminists.

  1. Feminists hate men

 

No, they do not. Feminism is a global struggle against all forms of patriarchal oppression. Anyone who believes this is a Feminist. Patriarchy derives its power from the control of all economic, political, social, cultural and religious systems. These systems and structures are controlled by men with some women drafted in to ensure that the systems are sustainable. Feminists hate these systems, not individual men. There are men who also do not agree that women should be oppressed and they too join hands with women in solidarity.

 

  1. Feminists do not marry or cannot stay married.

Another lie. Feminists do marry and stay married. They however will not stay married to men who are afraid of powerful, ambitious women, men who are threatened by a woman’s success and a man who needs to establish his manhood through physical and emotional abuse. When Feminists marry, they seek relationships grounded in love, mutual respect and shared values. We want every woman to be respected for the choices she makes. A woman can choose to marry, divorce if she has to, remarry if she wants to, or be single. There should be no judgement for the choices that women make, even if sometimes the choices might be considered poor ones. The operative word here is ‘Choice’.

 

  1. Feminism is alien to Africa

This is a myth based on ignorance of our history and the lives of our female ancestors. In almost every African community, there is a history of resistance to patriarchal power and control. It might have been one woman or a group of women, but we always had women who said No. No to the abuse of women, No to being married off to a brother of her late husband. No to the circumcision of her daughter or her granddaughter. No to the Kings and Nobles who were always preying on the poor and vulnerable. We had women like Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti, Margaret Ekpo and Gambo Sawaba. These women were not called Feminists, but we know that what they stood for was the desire to see an end to the marginalization of women. And that is what Feminism is about.

    4. Feminists are  anti-religion

Another popular myth. Feminists are not anti-religion. Feminists are against the distortion of the word of God in all the world’s major religions, which create a universe in which women are perpetual second-class citizens. There are Feminists who are women of faith, and who have insisted on more progressive interpretations of religious doctrines in ways which are spiritually empowering for women.

   5. Feminists are elite, educated women fighting for themselves

This is a very convenient argument that is used to divide and rule women. The big picture agenda of the feminist movement is to create a world in which all women (and men) can be productive, resourceful citizens. Majority of women live in rural areas, with minimal access to basic resources. The feminist movement has been responsible for placing gender, development and women’s human rights on global and local agendas. Feminists are keenly aware of the diversities we have as women – age, class, location, physical ability, education, marital status and so on. What we all have in common is the need for personhood. If Feminists advocate for a Bill to protect women from violence, all women benefit. If Feminists hold governments accountable for women’s reproductive health and rights, all women who might have been victims of maternal mortality will be saved.

      6. Feminists want to control the world like men do.

A famous myth that is gaining currency, with the incremental gains that women are making in all areas. Feminists know what it is like to be marginalized by Patriarchy, so we have no interest in a Matriarchy which would simply mean women replacing men as oppressors. Feminists are mothers of sons, daughters of men, and they have brothers. They do not want to see the men in their lives reduced to second-class citizens. Feminists want a world that is equitable, where there is equality of opportunity, and where roles and responsibilities are negotiated and shared based on context and circumstance. Feminists know that healthy relationships are the bedrock of any community. Most of the dysfunction we are experiencing now is as a result of the need for power and dominance by one gender over the other, with little consideration for our changing social dynamics.

       7. Feminists are rude and arrogant

When a woman has an alternative viewpoint, she is considered rude and arrogant. When men have divergent views, they are ‘good thinkers’ or ‘reflective’. We however do have some women who can be mean. This does not make them Feminists.

   8. Feminism has nothing to do with women’s empowerment

This does not make sense. You will hardly find anyone opposed to educating women and girls, in favour of violence against women or against women being in leadership positions. Many people argue that of course, women should be empowered. Yet they do not want to engage with Feminism, which is about dealing with the root causes of women’s disempowerment. Conference after conference, we outline all the reasons why women are marginalized and we come up with the same old answers, dealing only with symptoms of the disease. People argue that what they want to do is empower women, it has nothing to do with Feminism. I have news for you. You cannot empower women without a feminist analysis of why the two genders have discordant powers, control and access. It is like wanting to take a shower without getting wet

    9. Feminists are against culture and tradition

Feminism is against all cultures and traditions which are dehumanizing and no longer serve any purpose other than to hurt women and girls. Practices such as Female Genital Mutilation, degrading widowhood rites, child marriage, denying women inheritance, these are the relics from the past that have to go. Can someone remind me why we no longer kill twins? Oh, perhaps it is because both male and female babies where being thrown away. If it had been just female babies, we probably would still be killing twins.

     10. Feminists are a bunch of crazy, confused women

I don’t know the Feminists you know. The Feminists I know are smart, brilliant, innovators, trail blazers, role models, entrepreneurs, political leaders mothers, wives, grandmothers, the list goes on. A shout out to Amina Mama, Ayesha Imam, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Iheoma Obibi, Amina Salihhu, Ada Ugina, Funmi Balogun, Bibi Bakare Yusuf, Yemisi Obilade, Toyin Mejuini, Bisi Aina and my many other Nigerian feminist sisters.  Please feel free to google any one of them, as well as the following: Awa Thiam, Fatou Sow, Hilda Tadria, Theo Sowa, Sarah Mukasa, Sylvia Tamale, Leymah Gbowe, Abena Busia and all the other great Feminists across Africa who have been part of shaping feminist theory and practice on the continent.

For those who are wondering how they can learn more about Feminism, you can try and read as much feminist material as possible, a lot is available online, and many of the women mentioned above have produced a considerable amount of work in books, essays, poetry and blogs. You can also look up the Nigerian Feminist Forum and the African Feminist Forum. There are also a number of men who have been great supporters of the feminist movement, and in their capacity as professionals, scholars, husbands and fathers, they have done a great job of proving that men too can stand in solidarity with feminists. A well deserved thank you to men such as Otive Igbuzor, Ogaga Ifowodo,  Chidi Odinkalu, Kunle Ajibade and Kayode Fayemi.

Thinking again of the poor woman who was so confused to find out that I am a Feminist. Shame she does not know that it is written indelibly on my forehead. I am a Feminist, no ‘Ifs’ no ‘Buts’.

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Social Entrepreneur and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com

 

 

 

 

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10 Responses to FEMINISM 101: Ten Myths About Feminists

  1. Femi Diipo September 22, 2018 at 1:20 am

    Anytime I reread a post on loud whisper, I try to remember my thoughts and reactions when I read it the first time and what I imagined feeling is how many people that claim to be feminist really don’t know any of this.
    However, I watched an interview with the same woman on YouTube and despite her claims not to be a feminist, she still relates with most if not all of these values and I’m one of the people that believe maybe what this country really need is a mother as presidents. But I think if she chose to not call herself a feminist then we can only respect her choice. After all, It is not all who read the bible, believe its precept that wants to be called Christians.

    Reply
  2. Dom Dom September 22, 2018 at 1:24 am

    This is still as educative as the first time it was posted. Thanks for sharing ma’am and godspeed with all the good works that have been keeping you busy.

    Reply
  3. Olakunle Olajide September 23, 2018 at 3:20 pm

    Really wish the uniformed Feminists can read this and understand the true meaning of Feminism. Reading this all over again brought to my realization that a lot of women need to understand Feminism 101. I’m sharing this again.

    Reply
  4. Gloria Uduak September 23, 2018 at 10:32 pm

    Why didn’t that female political aspirant read well before coming out to say rubbish? It is pathetic! I am thinking there should be a lecture before people go out to speak those rubbish that they know basically nothing about. As if feminists weren’t the ones that paved the way for them now.

    Reply
  5. Seyitoba Justina September 23, 2018 at 10:34 pm

    I know what feminism is and what it is not but we have people who wouldn’t listen, people who wouldn’t want to be a part of this movement because of the stereotype they have created in their hearts. If only some people will learn, listen and unlearn what they think they have learnt, things will be better in this part of the world, most especially.

    Reply
  6. Danny Bliss September 23, 2018 at 10:36 pm

    But how many people see feminism they way you see it? How many people understand it this way? I still think we have extremists like CNA who take this too deeply and very unnecessary.

    Reply
  7. Esther Aderanti September 23, 2018 at 10:38 pm

    We will only grow when we know the truth but truth be told, some women go about saying feminism when they have no idea about what they are saying, and it doesn’t make sense at all.

    Reply
  8. Olumola Gift September 24, 2018 at 5:48 am

    There is always that school of extremism in everything that is why I am not surprised that we have this in the school of Feminism. When I saw that lady’s interview I was shocked because I expected her to know better. It is a pity that she knows nothing at all. Why would you say you cannot be a feminist because you want to keep your home, like seriously? Does it even make sense?

    Reply
  9. Phiona Philips September 24, 2018 at 5:50 am

    We have a lot of things to show people that they can learn from. People need to read books,attend seminars and share the good things they have learnt. I hate it when people come and say, I am not a feminist but I think am in a way. You are either in or out.

    Reply
  10. DSEED September 25, 2018 at 7:35 pm

    So many people have different believe about feminism. What i grew up to know about feminist is quite different from what I am reading here. We learn every day and get to see reasons behind every action.

    Reply

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