We Do Not Tolerate Patriarchy In Marriage – Men Should Think About Their Roles

By Derrick Wandera

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Acertain section of men around town subscribe to the modern dream husband. They take the pleasure in seeing the children to bed and waking them up to prepare for school, doing the dishes after dinner such that there is little for them to do in morning.

They would not mind calling their wives for a warm bath as they put together what she would wear to work before he tucks in.

Patriarchy

Another group is the one a woman would say to, ‘that is how men are’, he is happy to beckon on mama baby when he finds a child messy, wakes up and expects a hot mug of tea on the dining table, but heads for the warm shower in the bathroom as the wife cools the tea. He would actually call his wife to direct him where his socks are and also tell her to call the maid to rush and pick the children from school.

Andrew Sembatya, a boda boda rider in Kisenyi believes, those are the roles of women at home and that is why he wouldn’t do them. Sembatya does not make the list alone, he contributes to the endless list of men that have their roles stipulated differently from the women’s and they would never cross the line.

Foot the bills

Today I met a man, probably in his mid20s; he is calm and speaks with decorum. He says his duties are clear as a newly wedded groom fathering, Douglas, a son. He has to serve customers in the shop and his wife taking care of Douglas because his part is to take care of bills. “I cannot be bathe the children when my wife is there, what is her work? I was prepared before my wedding!” retorts the shopkeeper.

Cultural dictates

Brian Waiswa, 34, a pharmacist in Kisasi, says Busoga culture dictates that a woman is supposed to be a home-keeper and the man is supposed to be the hunter. “Growing up, our mother was bathing us and doing kitchen work, that is what we have learned to be and it is what do even now. Only that today things have changed women also fend for the entire family,” reckons Waiswa.

Source: allafrica.com

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