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Dependence Confines Women To Abusive Marriages

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Thursday, August 25th, 2016
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The story of Jackline Mwende, the Kenyan woman whose husband was early this month charged with chopping off her hands, has horrified the nation, with many blaming the woman’s pastor for encouraging her to stay in her violent marriage instead of telling her to walk out when she should have.

Kenyan Women

From a rational and human rights point of view, of course it makes sense to leave a marriage when one’s partner becomes violent or abusive. But is it really that simple?

Women stay in their abusive marriages for all kinds of reasons: for the sake of the children, because they have nowhere else to go, because they are afraid of being alone, because being married accords them a certain respectability in society or simply because they have become accustomed to the abuse and consider it as normal.

However, the most important reason many women stay in such marriages is they are not economically independent. Many of the cases of domestic violence that I have come across involved women who were completely dependent on their spouses for their existence.

Leaving their marriages would have meant destitution or a life of hardship. It would have also meant ostracism, as divorce is still considered taboo in our society.

With so many obstacles to overcome is it any wonder that women continue to endure domestic violence even when it can prove to be fatal?

Jackline’s case has also brought to the fore a myth that is pervasive in society – that the woman is to blame if a couple remains childless. In Jackline’s case, her husband was the cause of the couple’s infertility, yet he blamed her for the problem, which he refused to solve medically. Perhaps he felt insecure about this, and so took his anger out on his wife.

Insecurity combined with alcohol abuse plays a big part in many cases of domestic violence. Jackline’s husband suffered from both. The cruelty that he inflicted on his wife was extreme by any standards.

Let us hope that he will be brought to justice and that Jackline will receive the medical and psychological support she needs to be able to live a normal life.

On the issue of domestic violence, disturbing stories about Kenyan women being beaten, raped and even killed by their employers in Arab countries have once again surfaced.

This suggests that either the government’s attempts to monitor recruiting agencies have failed or that there is a massive human trafficking ring in Kenya that supplies cheap domestic labour to Arab countries.

What baffles me is why these countries are not blacklisted for being the destination of trafficked persons and why the Kenyan government is not demanding that the perpetrators of the violence be brought to justice.

Is it because the women who are abused or killed there are from poor families? How many more Kenyan women have to die before the government imposes some kind of sanctions on these count

I finally saw the much-talked-about film “Eye in the Sky”, which is being touted as the story of the Westgate mall terrorist attack, but which is really about a US drone attack on Nairobi’s Eastleigh neighbourhood.

While this fictionalised account of the US military’s counterterrorism strategy is worth a watch, I was disturbed by its depiction of Eastleigh, which is shown as a dangerous shantytown controlled by Al-Shabaab militants.

Anyone who has visited Eastleigh knows that it is a vibrant and densely built-up area that hosts a variety of shopping malls, apartments, hotels and restaurants.

It may not be the safest neighbourhood in Nairobi, and may even be a conduit for terrorists, but it is certainly not controlled by armed militias.

Hollywood films, especially those that are based on real events, have the power to influence people’s perceptions of places.

Out of Africa, which was filmed in Kenya, boosted Kenya’s image and helped improve tourism in the country.

I am afraid ‘Eye in the Sky’ will have the opposite effect. The fact that the film was shot in South Africa further reinforces the perception that the country is not safe.

Perhaps the relevant Kenyan authorities did not do enough to encourage the makers of this film to shoot it in Kenya? If they had, maybe the filmmakers would have had a chance to visit the real Eastleigh.

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