LOUD WHISPERS: ‘How Can I Be A Good Husband?’: Ten Suggestions

I did not want to write about marriage this week. In light of the fact that International Day of Families falls on May 15th, and the day will be marked throughout the week,  I have decided to address an email from a young man who read my last article on Loud Whispers, ‘Then and Now’. According to him, I am always championing the cause of women, and it sounds as if men are always the culprits in any relationship that flounders. He then went on to ask, ‘What advice do you have for men? I am getting married soon and I don’t want to get into trouble. How can I be a good husband?’.

I do not like giving relationship advice to either my peers or the younger generation. This is simply because each person’s situation is unique, and what works in one context might not work in another due to so many variables. I however get asked for advice a lot of time by mostly women, and I found this young man’s question interesting. We are always telling women how to be good wives. If something goes wrong, perhaps she did not try enough, was not submissive enough or did not pray hard enough. There is a common saying amongst Nigerians, ‘It is the woman who keeps the home’. Really? Why do we think like this? Every marriage involves two human beings and not one person on a perpetual ego trip. It takes two mature, respectful and compassionate people, who love each other, to make a marriage work. Back to my young friend (or son), I will share some thoughts with you. It is information you will find on any number of listicles on relationships, but here it is anyway.

 

Full Reading in Loud Whispers cover final

So there it is. Go and be the best husband you can be. One last word of advice to my son who asked the question that prompted this article. Never lay a hand on your wife. That will get you into trouble.

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Social Entrepreneur and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com

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20 Responses to LOUD WHISPERS: ‘How Can I Be A Good Husband?’: Ten Suggestions

  1. Detutu May 16, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    Hmmmm! Spot On! Please where are the young mennnnn ooooooooooooooooooooooo…. Come and read and learn, and practice. Please no waterbottle marriage o

    Reply
  2. Timmie_k May 16, 2016 at 6:57 pm

    Nice is an understatement for this write-up …our guys should come n learn o …cough out* lol

    Reply
  3. Danny May 16, 2016 at 7:00 pm

    Cough out# there is a man in here Ooooo…..of cuz we know viz before noe *just kidding eniway. Nobody is perfect o

    Reply
  4. maveedah May 16, 2016 at 9:47 pm

    I really love this piece….we need matured men nd not guys claiming to b matured….Real men need to read this

    Reply
  5. Harryrrah May 16, 2016 at 10:40 pm

    Beau write up,dis is what everyman should know nd replicate it in their homes.

    Reply
  6. Princess May 16, 2016 at 10:49 pm

    One thing ve noticed about some men is their chauvinism attitude which need serious attention.Some don’t even revere their wive’s opinion all they do is take a drastic decision nd which is final cuz He feel He’s d head of d Family. God help men of this our blessed generation!

    Reply
  7. AngelGabby May 17, 2016 at 7:06 am

    Great work ma, I will surely save this in my archive will revisit soon as am Married. Ur ink will never run dry

    Reply
  8. xasie May 20, 2016 at 7:45 pm

    Everyone is pointing at everyman here. It starts with your brothers and male.friends. When they get this particular Read, they would be better. God bless you

    Reply
  9. DSEED May 20, 2016 at 8:14 pm

    Am really impress. Bless u ma.

    Reply
  10. Femi Diipo May 20, 2016 at 8:26 pm

    We don hear. Both man and woman have a got their parts to play. Nice piece doh

    Reply
  11. Bamisebi Toluwalope May 20, 2016 at 8:53 pm

    Great write-up. Very beautiful. Even as a lady i have learn a lot from this piece and can’t wait to forward it to my sweetheart to go through it. God bless you ma. And may God grant us the grace 2 be the hearers and doers.

    Reply
  12. Bamisebi oluwatosin May 20, 2016 at 8:56 pm

    Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Nice one ma Evry man should go through this piece before they proceed to the altar and every lady must also learn to be submissive to their husband.Well done ma. We also need advice for ladies oo. God help us

    Reply
  13. xasie May 20, 2016 at 9:07 pm

    I hear you say let the.men see this….Well, i.will say let us give it to our brothers,male friends to read too…

    Teach them and correct them.when.necessary. God bless you

    Reply
  14. Ebonychyqui2 May 20, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    Ma advice 2 evry man, if U want a Queen 4 a wife prepare ursef as a King!

    Reply
  15. Olakunle Olajide May 20, 2016 at 10:01 pm

    Great write up. I think these ten suggestions are also needful on how to be a good wife. So to the ladies and women on this platform just replace the masculine to feminine.

    Reply
  16. Legzycool May 20, 2016 at 10:07 pm

    The Institution called Marriage..So complicated.. Awww

    Reply
  17. mary May 20, 2016 at 10:17 pm

    @Jide….it’s all About d men 4 nw…d truth is yu guys need articles like this cos mst tyms we read on dis kinda tin ourselves ,educative books to improve on ourselves but guys dnt jst have the time…

    Reply
  18. Olakunle Olajide May 20, 2016 at 11:40 pm

    I think it is about both parties @Mary. No matter how much we read just like the writer said we all still have our unique characteristics which makes every marriage unique.

    Reply
  19. Fola Richie-Adewusi May 21, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    Great one as always!!

    Reply
  20. Ememobong August 13, 2016 at 4:08 pm

    I adore the way you write, it’s almost rhythm like and yet still conveys the message across. I especially love ‘Simon with the six pack’! Hilarious!

    Reply

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